Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Dating a Pregnant Girl

Dear BroJo,

I'm hoping you can lend some advice on how I can best handle a unique situation. I've been home from my mission for about 4 months, I've been able to spend some time with a girl that I think I'm falling for. We met in a high school seminary class, and we were fairly well acquainted then. She comes from a solid LDS family and I think she's wonderful.

She's also 8 1/2 months pregnant. Her baby is being adopted by a wonderful family.

Now, everyone makes mistakes and I know things can be fixed. I think she likes me, we have a great rapport and we flirt (i think) when we are around each other. I asked her out a few weeks ago, she initially said yes, but later gave me an excuse as to why she couldn't go. I think she just might be self conscious about her pregnancy. Honestly, I would go anywhere with her and not feel at all awkward. I'm wondering how best to handle this situation. Should I even be considering dating this girl at this point in her life? If so how can I be sensitive about it? Should I ask her out again? Maybe after the baby? HELP!

Sincerely,

Smitten



Dear Smitten,

Life brings us together in many different ways . . .

I think you should tell her how you feel. Who knows? Perhaps the two of you have a future together . . .

You do need to be warned that pregnancy, with all of it's hormones and emotions, tilts reality and our perceptions.

Not just her, but you, too.

Pregnant women are, if you will, "extra" beautiful, and you may be drawn to her subconsciously because of the "instant family" idea, or the compulsion to take care of someone in need, or the whole "pregnant woman glow" may be irresistible . . .

I'm not saying don't date her, I'm saying Be Aware.

Talk to her. Be Sensitive.

Be Understanding and Be Prepared to Be Patient.

She's got a lot going on right now, she's made some pretty big decisions (getting pregnant, giving birth, unselfishly giving the child to someone else for adoption - have I ever mentioned that I was adopted?) and you stepping in at this time may just make life more complicated than it needs to be right now.

Talk to her.

Tell her what you know and how you feel.

Now.

Pray first. Listen to the Spirit.

Good luck.

Let me know how it goes,

- Bro Jo
Labels: , , , , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)