The Lonely Marine

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm a US Marine stationed with 3rd Force Reconnaissance Company in Okinawa, Japan. I grew up in the church and am still a solid, testimony bearing member. I even ride my bike 43 miles every Sunday just to get to church. But as of late I've ran into some problems. There are very few members stationed out here and even fewer female members.

I've been following the current events of friends and family back home through Facebook, and many of my high school and seminary companions have started to get engaged and some already married. I very much miss the dating scene back home and feel really left out. I had a pretty serious relationship going before I left but we split because I didn't want her to feel obligated to wait 3 years for me. And honestly I don't really want to wait 3 years either. I've always had this very strong desire to get married and start a family, but I guess most people do. I've been meeting some of the gorgeous local girls and my Japanese is getting pretty good but temple marriage is very important to me. What do you think?

Any light you can shed on this situation would be greatly appreciated.

- Lonely Marine



Dear Marine,

Let me start by saying thank you for your testimony, example, and service to our country.

As for your dating issue, as I see it you've got a few options.

1) Wait it out until you're back home. You've already indicated that this is bothering you, so let's rule it out from the start.

2) Go back to Casual Group Dating mode, as if you were still a pre-mi and go on group dates with your buddies. Could be fun for a while, and may even be a way for you to meet some great girls. I give it a hesitant thumbs up; you'll need to go with buddies who won't put you in a compromising situation, and this is a temporary fix at best.

3) Stick to dating only the Single Sisters you're stationed with. You seem to have already ruled this out, and I wonder if that's not premature. You said there's not many to pick from, and that may be, but it also indicates that they exist. My gut is that you may be too picky. Could also be a unit or military rule (written or otherwise), and if that's the case, I totally understand. If it's not, I think you owe a couple Sisters dinner.

4) Use your new language skills and start finding Single Japanese Sisters. This one is actually my favorite option. It will require some work on your part, but may yield the most rewards. There's, what, four military branches in Okinawa, but there are two local wards, too. Maybe you need to break out of your branch.

5) Combine your new language skills with your previous mission experience and see if the two of them together don't put an end to your dating woes. I'm not suggesting that you go out and convert yourself a bride . . . but I'm not ruling it out either. You've got to be really careful here, culturally and spiritually. If a girl converts it needs to be with or without you, not because of you. Does that make sense?

You could combine 4 and 5 into one other option . . . check with the elders serving in your area and see if there are any recently converted sisters who need some fellowship . . . I like that idea, too.

Most importantly, have you noticed what I haven't suggested?

Don't give up temple marriage all together simply because you're lonely.

I'm curious what your brothers in arms suggest . . . how they're dealing with the same situation you are.

Keep me posted,

- Bro Jo