I just got off my mission 2 weeks ago and I want to get back into the dating scene again but I feel a little nervous about going out with girls again (I still have the missionary mentality here by the way).
What advice can you give for Recently Returned Missionaries?
What is the best way for someone to start dating again?
-Recently Returned Missionary
The best way to start dating is . . . ask a girl on a date.
That's it, bro.
No need to make it any more complicated than that.
If it helps . . .
Bro Jo's "Dating as a RM - The Don't List"
- Don't sit around waiting for a light to beam down from the heavens and a voice to boom "thou shalt date this one!"
- Don't only date girls you already know really well.
- Don't limit yourself to a predetermined picture, look, or body-type.
- Don't make a first date out to be a bigger deal than it is, no matter how smitten you might be.
- Don't feel like you have to make it a big production. A simple walk through the park and get an ice cream is a great date!
- And don't sit around doing nothing, making excuses or refusing to leave the safety of your own little sofa.
50 dates a year, RM. That's what I recommend.
That's one a week.
I understand the culture shock . . . but I'll tell you now the best way to jump out of the airplane is not to linger at the door. Take a deep breath, buckle your chute, and GO!
And go have some fun!
Remember: Serious Single Dating is:
1. Serious, in that you're not playing around anymore; the dates themselves should be mostly fun and casual
2. Single, because you're too old to be hanging out or going on lots of group dates; ward activities, dances, apartment movie nights and parties are great ways to meet lots of potential dates, but don't make these you predominant social activity
3. Dating, meaning: Get Out There!
Back to our list . . .
- Don't forget that Communication is the key. Which means . . .
- Don't leave her guessing; be man enough to use the word "date" when you ask a girl to do something. Be Upfront: tell her that you don't expect the first few dates to imply any kind of commitment, that you think she's a neat girl (or whatever you non-gray-haired people say) and you'd like to get to know her a little better.
- I think it's helpful if you Don't Kiss on the first date or two (three dates is my general rule) so that nothing gets confused.
- And don't use girls for your physical needs; kissing is fine; holding hands is recommended (even on the first date); but that Non-committal Make Out thing happening on campus is not cool.
It's Friday. Go make a date for this weekend.
- Bro Jo