She Hates the Idea of Kissing

Dear Bro Jo,

I've been reading your blog, and I read in one of your entries that you think that you should be kissed at least once or twice while being a teenager.

What would you say to a teen who thinks kissing is gross (like me)?

I think kissing is gross because:

 a) I'm a germaphobe and germs can easily be exchanged through kissing

 b) kissing requires some commitment in the end

 c) I had a bad experience with my first kiss because the guy I kissed was trying to French kiss me

 d) I'm not really a cuddly person and I HATE it when people even try to hug me, including my family.

Why do you think teens should kiss?

Sorry for the weird questions.

 --Girl who hates the idea of kissing---

 P.S: The reason for me asking this is because a lot of guys won't ask me out on dates because they know I am anti-lip action.




Dear Anti-kisser,

I’d say that you’re not ready.

Your objections make sense to you . . . and that’s okay, but the truth is that:

a) You should be much more concerned about eating in public, using the tooth brush you keep in the bathroom, or (and this is the big one) using a computer keyboard that’s used by other people than kissing if germs are your big concern

b) Not necessarily.

c) All of life should not be defined by one bad experience. Or even two or three.

And, while everyone is different, D concerns me quite a bit . . . like, perhaps you should speak to a professional therapist. Not wanting to big hugged by family concerns me . . . but then, in fairness, I am a huggy person.

Perhaps you’ll change your mind when you either get older or meet the right person (like someone who doesn’t think “kissing” has to mean licking your tonsils).

Maybe it will be best that you marry someone who feels as you do; who doesn’t associate kissing and cuddling with love, and doesn’t need those things in their life (not something I would choose, but there are those out there like that).

For now I don’t think you should worry about it too much.

You never know . . . you might feel differently when some time has passed . . . or, as I mentioned before, when the right guy comes along.

Nothing wrong with waiting until the timing is right.

To clarify, I don’t think teens should kiss, per se; what I’ve said is that I see nothing wrong with it given certain parameters.

I think that’s different. (See Bro Jo’s Guide to Kissing.)

Oh, and before I forget, any guy that only asks out girls because they’re trying to get smooched isn’t a very good guy.

- Bro Jo

PS: There’s something that happens that can keep girls from getting asked out. When they’re 18 if all they ever talk about is how they want to go on a mission, or not get married, then the guys that want those things steer clear. It’s like they’re waving a big red “stay away from me” flag, and guys are all too happy to oblige. 

And that can be ironic because lots of girls say that stuff simply so they can pretend that it’s okay with them that they don’t get asked out.

Consider: along those lines, it may be possible that these guys aren’t asking you out because they’re only after kisses, but because you go on and on and on about how anit-kissing you are that, even though they may not have any intention of kissing you, you just come across as . . . . well, a Big Dull Dud.

I’m not saying that you have to kiss to be fun; not at all. What I’m saying is that your mantra may be a turn off not because they’re disappointed that you won’t kiss, but because you don’t seem to talk about anything else.

Hope that makes sense.