I'm a 25 year old woman who recently has decided to serve a mission. I have always had a burning desire too and I know I am ready. I spoke with my stake president and he said it will one of the best decisions I have ever made, he said everything will fall into place when I'm done with my mission, etc.
Yet I have an issue.. After two years of waiting and dating, yes I was a missionary gf. It didn't work out. I recently met this wonderful man, he's 25, we started dating about two months ago. He wants to marry me ASAP and plan a wonderful future together
Yet two weeks ago, I recently informed him of my decision to serve and figurative speaking it's been 'Hell' ever since. we have practically argued everyday of my decision and he claims I'm being selfish and not thinking of him. which is deeply hurting me, ever so much. I have a strong testimony and I wish to share it and I know I'm ready to serve.
I have told him to I'm blue in the face that I love him, etc and when I'm finished with my mission we can marry.
Why can't he see that serving a mission is for the greater good?
Am I being selfish?
What should I do?
I need your advice
- Future Sis Mis
It's hard for me to say that a Mission is selfish ... but I think you serving one at this time may be a huge mistake.
If this guy is the Good Guy you say he is, it's unrealistic, unreasonable and unfair for you to expect that he will be available when you come home.
And, frankly, I hope he's not.
A mission is a break up, regardless of your age. Should you choose to go you need to understand that. While you're gone he will likely date, and kiss, other girls.
And he should.
He will likely pick one of those girls to marry for Time and All Eternity.
And he should.
Because as you well know, Waiting doesn't work most of the time.
Your focus right now should be marriage and family. That's been made very clear over and over and over again.
Your boyfriend can't agree to your "greater good" argument because ... well ... it's not true.
General Counsel is that even if you had a mission call the right decision would be to cancel that call and get sealed.
Do you understand why?
The Hell you're going through is one you stepped in, so getting out of it will be up to you.
The questions you need to answer are:
1. Are you okay choosing a Mission now if it not only means not marrying this guy, but not marrying ever? (Ask some 27-28 year old single sisters how difficult it is to find a good and worthy man to marry.)
2. If you stay, can you love and marry this man without holding it against him that you didn't serve a mission right now?
3. Would serving a Mission later in life, as a married couple, with this wonderful man as your companion, be a compromise that would satisfy you?
4. If it's such a burning desire, why didn't you leave four years ago? (We often think we REALLY want to do things, but if that were true ... we'd have done them. Perhaps there's an additional reason, one you haven't shared with me here . . . maybe one you haven't even confessed to yourself . . . that is part of why you feel "mission ready" at 25?)
5. Can you be happy for the next few years being a Member Missionary? Sharing the Gospel at home? Raising your children to be good members of the Church?
Please understand: I am not saying that there's necessarily something wrong with you wanting to serve a mission. My goal here is for you to know why you want to serve, to make sure it's for the right reasons, and to help you be at peace with your choice, whatever that might be.
As you consider all of these options, the path that brings you the most peace is the one you should take.
Remember Little Sister, in all things, it's about the Lord's timing, not ours.
And talk to your boyfriend one more time.
- Bro Jo