Dear Bro Jo . . . : Does She Want to be a Date or a Girlfriend?

Things to know

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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Does She Want to be a Date or a Girlfriend?

Dear Bro Jo,

I am a 16 year old girl who is currently crushing on a friend (big surprise). He is a super sweet guy and is fun to be around. He turns 16 in soon so I have some waiting to do, but I'm OK with that. I've already set my standards and plan on not dating exclusively, but I don't think he has the same standards as I do.

My problem is I don't know how to drop hints that I'm interested once he's 16, and I don't know how to make it clear what my standards are.

I only get to see him at stake dances and activities and we've been friends for about 2 years now. I want to let him know I'm interested but don't want to come on too strong or want our friendship to become awkward.

Any tips?

-A Little Confused

Dear LC,

Let me ask: to what end?

Do you want to go on Casual Group Dates with this boy? Will you be content to go out with him once in a while both of you also go out with other people?

Or are you looking to be his girlfriend?

Are you hoping to have a relationship?

Hold his hand . . . possibly do a little kissing?

Whatever your answer, you will soon be leaving the "friends" territory because, as you know if you've been reading my columns, "Men can't stay 'Just Close Friends'" . . .

But then, I don't believe you'd be satisfied with that either . . .

- Bro Jo

PS; As far as "tips" on letting him know your standards and that you'd like him to take you out, nothing works better than Communication; try just . . . Telling him. Tell him what your standards are. Tell him that when he turns 16 you hope he's smart enough to ask you out.

No comments:

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Does She Want to be a Date or a Girlfriend?

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