Jealous?

Dear Bro Jo,

Thanks for the homecoming help. However, I was not able to get that one guy to ask me, and I have not been asked by anyone else. Maybe it's just that I don't have enough close connections with guys, because I would consider myself to be pretty attractive, and so did a couple of guys at the last Stake Dance, who both told me I was pretty. Anyways, I'm going with a group of friends and we're going to have dinner at someone's house and get ready together. This is mostly fine with me and my parents don't mind. Halfway through the homecoming dance, I'm planning on leaving to go to a Stake Dance that I originally wanted to go to this weekend. So we'll see how this all goes...

Now for the thing that's irking me. My one friend is going to homecoming with my group, and with a date. He's nineteen and has finished one year of college. My friend is sixteen and a junior. Apparently he is working on his mission papers... I think? He and my one friend have liked each other for quite some time and are now boyfriend/girlfriend. My friend liked him for years and years and frankly thinks she'll end up marrying him. I think they both need to move on, particularly the guy who needs to grow up, and my friend really needs to look into other dating options. She's also graduating early to "move on with her life" and get through college, which I don't understand. Childhood is too short.

I have another friend who went to EFY this summer and met this guy, who she ended up liking and vice versa. He lives in Idaho, her in California, and they are basically just calling each other a ton. They're convinced that they love each other, and want to date, possibly marry (?!?!) in the future. I'm thinking, people, there's more to life than getting married right away!!! Plus they're too focused on these guys and need to move on and meet other guys. I am totally on the opposing side, since I'm single and I'm constantly like, "Let's go to a Stake Dance and meet some guys!!"
Is there any way I can politely talk to them about this and convince them to let things go a little??? Sorry this letter is so long!

~Single Sista



Dear Single,

First of all, I'm sorry that the boy you wanted to go to Homecoming with wasn't smart enough to ask you; sometimes it just works out that way.

As to your question: no, there's no polite way for you to tell your friends that you think they're getting too serious too soon. They are, (and, between you and me, that 19-year old hopes-to-go-on-a-mission guy who's going with your 16-year old friend to Homecoming is a moron, I don't care how "hot" she is; grow up and move on, dude) and should knock it off, but unless they ask (and they probably won't) there's nothing you or I could say to change their minds. Besides, anything you say will just make them think you're jealous (and, let's face it, on some level you are); envy, real or perceived, does not lead to changed behavior.

You keep Casual Group Dating and teaching the guys and girls you know to do the same. Have fun at the Stake Dance, and keep going to those, too!

- Bro Jo