Age Differences: 17 and 22

Dear Bro Jo,


Firstly I'd like to just say I love your blog!


I really, really really like this guy, and he's told me he likes me too, but the only problem is that I'm 17 and he's 22. I'm 18 in 5 months, but I know the age difference really bothers him, and I know because of this there is probably no chance of a relationship happening. Anyway, I was just wondering, what do you think about this?


Thank you,


- Name Withheld


Dear NW,

Let me ask a few questions.

Are you still in high school?

How did you meet?

Why you?

I mean, let's face it, he's a man and you're still a child . . .

It's a little . . . Creepy.

At this point the age difference SHOULD bother him, especially if you're still in High School. What, is your then 23 year old going to take you to your senior prom?

I don't think so.

He shouldn't.

And you shouldn't skip it or the Casual Group Dating you're supposed to be doing at this age, either. 17 and 22 is Too Far apart.

18 and 23 is better.

I'm much more comfortable with 19 and 24.

(See the difference?)

Yeah, I've known it to work, but I strongly advise both of you to date other people until the gap is less of an issue.

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,


Thank you so much for replying. Well, I'm in the UK, so I'm in college right now. I know it does sound creepy, and if it was someone else telling me then I would totally think the same. But when we talk and when we're together the age difference doesn't matter, if you can get that.
Thank you :)!!!


- NW



Dear NW,

I didn't realize you were outside the US; if you're already in college then the age difference bothers me less.

How did the two of you meet?

And what's his Church status?

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,


His church status is really good, and its part of the reason I like him so much. He served a mission and is such an amazing example to me.


Okay so how we met, haha kind of random and I know it will probably make the situation sound even more creepy but it's not as weird as it sounds I promise :P Okay so, he is the missionary that baptized me's brother. A couple of years ago the missionary that baptized me told me to add him on Facebook and that it would be likely that his older brother would accept me, so I did.


Anyway, his brother accepted me and we messaged back and forth a few times and then we didn't speak after that. He went on his mission and obviously I was a lot younger then and I didn't look at him in anyway other than a friend. Anyway, he returned from his mission last year, and then in January we began talking properly on Facebook, and then every night we started to talk on cam and mic for hours about everything. But, one detail I forgot to mention is that he is in Utah and I am in England. I know this is kind of weird but I don't believe that closeness has anything to do with distance. I have stayed with his family once earlier this year, and I am going back to Utah on the 1st of August for 2 weeks.


:) thanks.


- NW



Dear NW,

OK. Now that I have the whole story . . .

It's not as weird or creepy as I thought.

I'm not a big proponent of internet relationships . . . they lack substance and reality, but Sister Jo and I were Pen Pals for about 3 months between the one night I call our first date and the one day she says was our first date . . .

I think you'll learn a lot on this trip to go see him in August (I'm going to be in the Provo-Orem area in the beginning of August, so if you're around and you want someone to give him a stern talking to, let me know! Or you could just swing by and say "hello" . . . ) but one of the things that's going to have to come up, especially if there's any possibility of a serious relationship, is who's going to move. Not just later, when you're married, that's a given, but soon so you can live close to each other while you date. 5000 miles is too far for a serious courtship.

Good luck!

And keep me posted,

- Bro Jo

. . . . . . . .


Dear NW,

How did your trip go?

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,


It was the most amazing 2 weeks ever!! I loved it so much i was so sad to leave :( i'm thinking of applying to byu for autumn '11 if everything here goes well!


- NW



Dear NW -

Keep us posted!

- Bro Jo