Dear Bro Jo,
I am a fairly clueless (or at least that's what my sisters and mother tell me) when it comes to sensing feelings and what not.
There is this girl, "Anne" I think is cute and really nice and all a great daughter of God always being modest and kind to people.
I've already took her to one school dance and one other group date.
Both were pretty great and all.
Now however I'm on a stake committee with her and her parents and I talk to them fairly regularly which is odd since before this year I had never talked to either parent or Anne really.
Now though they talk to me whenever they see me and about a ton of life stuff. The dad in particular just barely had a long future talk with about college and mission stuff with me which was a bit strange but good cause I got some helpful tips for college.
However I can't tell if Anne likes me and would want to go on another date or whatever.
Also a few days before the school dance date Anne's sister measured me to see if she needed to wear heels for a goodnight kiss or not which I don't think is normal but again I'm not the most socially informed character out there.
My real question is whether Anne's family talking to me more means anything about Anne or if they just are being nice?
Thanks,
Clueless Dude
Dear Dude,
We're ALL "clueless", my man; it comes with being a guy.
As a pre-mish guy, it shouldn't matter Too Much how much she likes you; I know it does, but be careful not to let this turn into something too serious.
For the record, though: I think she does like you.
And, yes, everyone's behavior so far sounds very normal.
The dad wanting to get to know the guy that likes his daughter a little better, the little sister teasing both of you about smooching at the end of the night, you having a crush on a girl that likes you too . . . all of it.
"Anne" likely was hoping you would kiss her goodnight at the end of the School Dance Date, and she likely would have given that more meaning than either of you should, and it could have lead to all kinds of drama and weirdness.
That's part of the experience.
(As for what her sister was teasing you about, if it helps, check out Bro Jo's Guide to Kissing.)
You realize, I hope, that the only way to find out if she wants to date you again is to . . . you know . . . ask her on another Casual Group Date.
However, my friend, my suggestion to you both is that you Follow the Rules, including not dating each other twice in a row.
Have fun,
- Bro Jo
2 comments:
Hey dude, I'm in my 20's and still clueless about women, though you do pick up things along the way. My advice to you is 2 fold: (1) Date casually without worrying much about getting into a relationship. I know it's hard sometimes but it's worth it, my brother. (2) Honestly, most girls you'll be dating as an RM are 2-3 years younger than you. The girls your age will be 2 years older in school and so you'll have many classes with women 2-3 years younger in school. That may be a little weird for you at this point of your life because most of these girls aren't old enough to date yet (I assume you're 16-17). Learn to be a gentleman with the miamaids in the ward (the 14-15 year olds). Don't ask them out on dates obviously, but make them feel good about themselves. They're at a time in their lives where they face so much pressure from peers and they're vulnerable to depression. If guys would do a better job of treating the girls 2-3 years younger than they as princesses (not kissing up to them but being respectful) then these girls would have higher self-esteem, they would feel more valued, and they would be more open to dating older guys when they're 18-19 and it's time to date RM's.
You may not see the benefits of this at this point in your life because you can't date them, but trust me, it's totally worth it when you're older! I hope that helps!!
Interesting post, thank you for sharing!
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