Should She Pursue the Missionary That Taught Her The Discussions?

Dear Bro Jo,

Last year when I was investigating the Church I met a missionary who taught me most of the lessons along with his companion.

I developed a crush on him but I obviously couldn't do anything about it and I thought it would go away after a while.

A few months later I stopped investigating the Church but I stayed in contact with the missionaries.

After this specific missionary finished his mission I started investigating again and ended up being baptized.

He and I have stayed in contact over Facebook and my feelings for him haven't gone away.

My question is should I go ahead and tell him how I feel since he's no longer on his mission or should I leave it alone?

I've hinted around a little bit about my feelings for him but I haven't come out and said anything.

I'm worried about making our friendship awkward if he doesn't return my feelings but I also worry that I'll have a bunch of "what ifs" if I don't speak up.

I'm not much younger than him and I feel like our only challenge would be the distance since we live in different states.

What do you think?

- Name Withheld




Dear NW,

I don't think it's ever a good idea to tell someone how much you like them unless there's already a relationship (or at least dating) there.

Usually that just scares people off. If your goal is to have a relationship with this man then the two of you will need to be in the same general area; a relationship can’t get very far when it’s nothing more than virtual. 

I don't think one should join the Church because of a love interest, and I don't think you should move just for a guy unless, as I said, there's already a relationship there.

 And, no, "friendship" is not enough.

Probably the only thing that might work at this point would be to ask him if he'll ever come back to your area and take you on a date.

Maybe that will put the idea in his head.

But I've got to tell you, even though I know it's worked, I'm not a big fan of missionaries going back to a place where they served to date a girl they met while they were there.  I know it happens . . . and sometimes has turned out well . . . but for me, on a personal level, it usually has a feeling of them not being focused on the work while they were there.

 - Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

Thank you for the advice. You helped me see it in a whole new way. LDS dating is a whole new world to me so I didn't see it like that at all.

- NW




Dear NW,

Any time.

And, for what it's worth, this stuff isn't exclusive to the LDS faith.

- Bro Jo