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Friday, October 18, 2013

Dealing with Rape - Part 3 - How She Feels Now That Time Has Passed


What follows is Part 3 in a series of posts about a very serious and very sensitive subject.  These emails were sent to me quite a while ago.  Now that enough time has passed it seems appropriate to share them.  I am doing so with the original writer's permission.  She is doing well, and hopes that others in the same situation can learn from this trial she has had to endure.

Rape is a Violent Crime.

If you have been, or suspect you may have been, the victim of rape, regardless of your age, sex, situation, location, or the identity of your attacker, I want you to know that it's not your fault.

It never is.

I plead with you to get help from a trusted relative, authority, friend, crisis center or counselor.  If at first you don't get the help you need, please don't give up trying.

And, most importantly, I want you to know that I know that the Savior Loves You, that you have Value as a Child of God, that you can survive this ordeal, that you can heal and be whole and live a great and wonderful life.

I love you, and I know that Jesus and Heavenly Father do as well.

- Bro Jo]

Dear Bro Jo,

I don't know what his father's story was but when we told my uncle what had happened (so he could keep my cousins away from that family) he said the father had just gotten out of prison.

And "Bob"'s older brother was sent home early from his mission.

It's clearly an unstable family.

But you are correct that doesn't excuse Bob's behavior.

When I say "many friends have similar stories" it's sad but true.

With a self-defense course, it helps, but when something like that is happening you freeze and your brain turns off.

My vomiting move was not genius!

It caused so many problems later . . .

In the moment it caused so much relief; after any time I was over stressed I would just go puke.

Bulimia is not fun!

And it is really hard to work through!

You can publish this.

I have shared my story openly and with many people.

I have become comfortable with letting people know what has happened.

If you do publish it I hope it will help other young women out there.

The story about your son standing up to a bully is hilarious!

It brightened my day.  Thank you for sharing it.

As for my feelings, I feel bad for Bob.

His life is going to suck!

He will probably end up in prison.

He isn't going to get to go to the Temple.

He won't be allowed to have children because he has been permanently labeled as a child sex offender.

And he never gets to see or make contact with me again (that's the saddest one lol)

At least I was able to work with the situation.

Thanks for everything!


 Dear NS,

Thank you for your email and your permission to publish these.  I think your story will help someone else.

I appreciate that you're able to now look at some of these things with a positive spin; and I'm sorry that you had to endure not just this incident, but the residual things, too.

Thank you for your testimony!


 - Bro Jo

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