Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with occasional additional posts, too).

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Bro Jo is not a spokesman or authority for the LDS Church. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Formal Dance Dilemma

Dear Bro Jo,

I need some advice.

There is a guy who likes me, is not Mormon, knows I can't have boyfriend and is trying to still be friends.

He also asked me to formal.

I said I would go with him but now things are a bit complicated. My parents said I needed to be in either a group or with another couple. My friends started organizing their group to go to formal.

One of my friends offered for us to meet at her house and take cars from there. This same friend went and had an argument with my date to formal. Which ended with them not wanting to talk to each other or sit together at formal.

So now I don't know what to do. None of my other friends have dates so I can't just join with them. But I can't go by myself with my date.

I now have to figure out what to do, who to go with and who to sit with. Please help me.

Thanks,

Torn Between



Dear Torn,

A dilemma indeed!

The first thing you need to do is talk to your date and explain both the Dating Rules and your reasons for wanting to keep things casual between you.

You also need to talk to both he and your friend and encourage them to patch things up; if they won't do it because it's the mature Christ-like thing to do, maybe they'll do it for you.

Even if they don't, I think you should still plan on going in that group. Better a conflicted group than as a single couple or not at all.

Have fun at the dance!

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,

Sorry I took so long to reply.

Thanks for the advice.

Turns out my date solved the problem for me and decided not to take me after all. So I don't have that problem anymore.

Thanks for your great advice though :)

Thanks,

No longer torn...



Dear Torn,

Well I'm terribly sorry to hear that. What happened?

I hope someone else asks,

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,

Well he said that due to the clashes with our friends and because we are so different it might be best if we didn’t go together... So I no longer am going with him.

Thanks, I kinda hope so too. Not really very hopeful though.

By the way I am ordering your dating book on the weekend :) I decided it was a worthwhile use of my money.

Thanks,

Torn




Dear Torn,

It might be a good idea to make sure your friends know that you don't have a date for the dance, lest anyone inquire and be given wrong information. But know this: some of the most wonderful girls don't get asked to formal dances in high school, or even date much.

Including Sister Jo.

It worked out very well for yours truly that she went to school with dumb guys and bad daters.

Hope you enjoy the book,

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Jdawg said...

I went to four formals when I was in high school: one homecoming as a group date with my sister, and three senior proms, as single dates. The homecoming was certainly the most enjoyable of the four. The first prom was my HS sweethearts senior prom. It was still fun, as was my own senior prom a year later with the same girl. The other prom was very akward though. I had promised the girl I would take her at the begining of the semester, and I didn't wanna back out, even though she wanted me to leave my gf for her. I didn't know anyone else there, and felt very out-of place. Moral: group dates are the most fun for formal dances.