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Monday, March 26, 2012

Starting a Conversation

Dear Bro Jo,

Taking your advice, I am no longer concentrating on one guy. So I have a question about interacting with guys.

How do you get guys to be interested enough in you to go beyond a casual conversation? And as a cheerful, talkative conversational person, how do I avoid monopolizing the conversation, without going to the other extreme and leaving the encounter with knowledge about the guy, and he knows next to nothing about me?

Thanks, as always,


Dear J,

The answer to all three of your questions is the same: listen.

By listening you'll show a guy you're interested in him, and it's not all about you. And, as Sister Jo says so often and so strongly, a girl's position is much better if she's left some things to mystery; not a good idea to tell too much.

- Bro Jo

Bro Jo,

Thanks a ton. That's great. But I guess my real question is, how to get into a conversation where listening is an option?

Here's my scenario:

I'm at institute; an intriguing RM is new to the class. He introduced himself to the class during the lesson, and we meet at the refreshment table afterwards. What do I say to start a conversation and show him I'm interested? How do I get him to talk about himself so I can listen and learn about him? How do I get him to keep talking, and not feel rude that I'm keeping him from meeting other people?


Dear J,


You go up to him and say "Hi, my name is _____" and when he tells you his name ask him something about himself.

Listen to what he says, and then ask an elaborating question. If one doesn't come to mind, then ask about something else.

It's really very easy. (Check out last Monday's Post: "Dateless at BYU")

- Bro Jo

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