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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Letting Him Go

Dear Bro Jo,

Maybe someday I'll get married and my dating woes will end.....but until then, I still need your excellent advice. :)

I'm not quite sure what to do at the moment.

I met a guy in my singles ward and he asked me out.

I see him at Church activities and institute every week and he took me out almost every week for five or six weeks. (We'd held hands but hadn't kissed.)

Then he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I told him "not yet" because I wasn't sure and wanted to get to know him a little better. So then I pondered it for a few days and talked to my best friend and my mom. I realized that he's a wonderful guy and I enjoyed being with him and I didn't have anything to lose by dating him, so then I told him that I'd be his girlfriend. Well, now it's been two weeks and I'm not feelin' it. I still like spending time with him, but I don't feel twittered or emotionally attached at all. It's really hard for me not to flirt with other guys, and I hate turning down guys that ask me out.

So my question is this: Is my lack of emotional attachment and desire to date other people a sign that I shouldn't be in this relationship?

Or is it too soon to say and I'm not giving it half a chance?


Not Sure

Dear Not Sure,

It sounds to me like you never wanted to be his Girlfriend in the first place, and that you only agreed because everyone else thought you should.

Now, perhaps they know better than you, perhaps he's a great guy and you just can't see it. Regardless, you're not doing either of you any favors by continuing to stay in this relationship, especially when you want to be dating other people.

I don't think a relationship has to be filled with being "twittered" to be a good one, but clearly this one isn't working out. Talk to him. Soon. (Today.) And let him go. He deserves someone that feels about him the way you don't.

Neither of you are bad people, it just isn't in the cards.

It's not as if you'll regret giving him up and watching him fall-in-love with someone else, right?

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

You're right again.

Ok, I'll talk to him.

- Not Sure

Dear Not Sure,

Be kind, and don't burn any bridges lest you wake up tomorrow regretting what you've said today.

Good luck.

- Bro Jo

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