Dear Bro Jo . . . : Nothing to Wait for

Things to know

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Friday, August 21, 2009

Nothing to Wait for

Dear Bro Jo,

The guy that I like is graduated this year and I am sophomore. I am athletic trainer so I have to work with him. He was really nice every time he saw me: he told me "hi" but sometimes I didn't look at him and I think he got mad about it.

I don't know. He was a senior quarterback football player(with scholarship for that) and basketball player (the normal one just ignores you and avoid you)and when I was going back to my country, he asked me why; then 3 months latter he asked me again and asked me if I was going to go to high school here...

You know he showed me that he cares but the problem is and he is the cutest one on the senior team! There are a bunch of cheerleaders that he can be interested in and I was a freshman. My friends tell me that he is out of my league but I really do like him and I am not sure if he likes me back.

Next year he is going on a mission and I want to wait for him. I KNOW WHICH UNIVERSITY HE'S GONNA BE SO I WAS THINKING . . .

Is age is important here??? How do I know if this guy likes me back???? Should I tell him??

Thanks for all, your fan

(name withheld)

Dear Fan,

In High School the age difference IS important, a little. At that point in life 14 and 18 are very far apart . . .

But that will change in a few years. Twenty-one and twenty five aren’t far apart at all, nor for that matter are nineteen and twenty-three . . .

How he looks isn’t an issue, though. There are so many more things that are important when we’re looking for that Long Term Relationship.

But you’re not there yet.

Not even close.

A sophomore girl in High School should put Adult Men (which he is) out of their minds, and visa versa. At this point neither of you should even consider dating each other.

So, “No”, you absolutely should not tell him that you like him.

Nor should you “wait”.

Not just because this falls under my ever-controversial “Don’t Wait for Missionaries” policy but, on top of that, you don’t even have a Relationship to “wait” for! Holy Heck in a bucket! When this guy comes back from the mission you’ll STILL be in High School!

Date guys your own age.

Mix it up.

Keep it Casual.

(see Bro Jo’s DATING RULES for TEENS)

I’m sure there are lots of boys out there to date.

- Bro Jo

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Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Friday, August 21, 2009

Nothing to Wait for

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