Dear Bro Jo . . . : Becoming a Better Man

Things to know

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Becoming a Better Man

Dear Bro Jo,
I'm just writing to you hoping you'd have some advice for me...

This doesn't need to be published, unless you really want to.

Around 6 months ago, I made the mistake of getting too involved with a girl, relationship wise.
I'm keen to start casually dating good, Church member girls, although the only reason that I want to date is to learn about myself, women, and qualities I want in a future spouse.

My main goal with dating is for me to learn what I want in a wife, as I believe choosing a wife is the biggest decision I will ever make..

I'm here to ask if you have written anything about becoming a better man - I want to use the time I have now to grow and become a great potential husband.

Also, what ages of girls should i be looking at dating? girls my age and older just want RM's . . .

Casual Dating is not as easy as I thought it would be, mainly because there are not a lot of girls age 16+ around.

Thanks,

B

Dear B,

To become a better man, in my opinion, one must work at being a better Disciple of Christ. As you read through the New Testament, look at what Christ says we will do if we love him; and notice where He says how He will know we are his friends.

Nothing worth doing in life comes easy, and that includes Casual Group Dating. Keep trying.

As a 16-19 year old young man, I think you should focus on 16-18 year old young women.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

JulesVerne said...: People say this all the time, but it really is true- The Book of Mormon has the answers to every single question- including becoming a better person as you have fun and interact with the opposite sex. Here's what you do, courtesy of Elder Bednar: Get a clean, fresh copy of the Book of Mormon and decide what topic to study. (Right now I'm studying becoming perfected in Christ in this life)Then get a scripture marker or pen and a quiet place and open with a prayer. Heavenly Father answers sincere prayers about becoming better VERY quickly and lovingly. From a 16-18 year old young woman, THANK YOU for setting such a great example. :); August 17, 2011 at 9:56 AM

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Becoming a Better Man

1 comment:

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