What If You Think Kissing is Gross?

Dear Bro Jo,

I've been reading your blog, and I read in one of your entries that you think that you should be kissed at least once or twice while being a teenager.

What would you say to a teen who thinks kissing is gross (like me)?

I think kissing is gross because:

     a) I'm a germaphobe and germs can easily be exchanged through kissing
 
     b) kissing requires some commitment in the end

     c) I had a bad experience with my first kiss because the guy I kissed was trying to French kiss me

     d) I'm not really a cuddly person and I HATE it when people even try to hug me, including my family. 

Why do you think teens should kiss?

Sorry for the weird questions.

-Girl who hates the idea of kissing

P.S: The reason for me asking this is because a lot of guys won't ask me out on dates because they know I am anti-lip action.




Dear Anti-kisser,

I’d say that you’re not ready, and that’s okay.

Perhaps you’ll change your mind when you either get older or meet the right person (like someone who doesn’t think “kissing” has to mean licking your tonsils).

(For those who want to know more about Bro Jo's take on kissing, check out "Bro Jo's Guide to Kissing" on our Facebook Page or in the book "Bro Jo's Guide to Casual Group Dating".)

I am a little concerned about you not even wanting to hug your family; I worry there's a bigger issue there, and I'd like to chat about it more if you want.  I hope you'll feel differently when it comes to hugging your children . . . and I suspect you will.  Maybe it will be best that you marry someone who feels as you do; who doesn’t associate kissing and cuddling with love, and doesn’t need those things in their life.

For now I don’t think you should worry about it too much.

Oh, and before I forget, any guy that only asks out girls because they’re trying to get smooched isn’t a very good guy.  And not all guys are asking girls out solely for that reason.

I wonder if some guys don't ask you out not because you're "anti-lip action", but because you go on and on publicly about how gross you think it is and they figure you're so obsessed with something that isn't even that important to them that you'll ruin the date, and be no fun, even though they have no intention of kissing you anyway . . .

I'll bet few guys are excited about dating a girl who they think is going to advertise whether or not they tried to kiss her.  Lots of people don't like their feelings, insecurities, and shyness made public, you know.

- Bro Jo