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Monday, April 15, 2013

A Relationship: Part 2 - Communication is the Key

Dear Bro Jo,

Wow, you replied fast! Thank you. I think you're right. I do have quite a few insecurities, and they can cloud my judgment. It's been an issue in the past, but I am working on it.

I've decided to set myself a challenge. For the next month (I've made it so long because I won't see him for the next two weeks because of work) I'll look hard for the other ways he lets me know what he thinks and how he feels about me, and show him that I appreciate it.

I like to think we're usually pretty good on that front, but perhaps I've been too caught up with that one little thing.

I'm very aware of what a wonderful man I have, and I do try to tell him that often.

I've even given him the nickname Superman, or Superman's Aussie cousin, because whenever anyone calls for help (and they do call, a lot) he comes to the rescue.

He's a very busy man, and yet he always makes time for me when I call.

I've told him how much I appreciate that, but I intend to tell him again.

You don't have to worry, Bro Jo. The "two years" was just a play on "too many years".

We haven't exactly had a talk about it yet, but hints have been dropped, and I'm planning to talk to him about it around New Year’s (if he hasn't brought it up by then).

Really, I'm expecting to be engaged within 2-3 months. I've already met all his family, (and at his sister's wedding too!) and they seemed to really like me, so I'm sure I'm not the only one throwing him hints, haha. 

Thank you for your advice. You've helped me realize I need to not worry about things that aren't really all that important, and focus on OUR communication, rather than HIS communication.

Take care and God bless,

 - Smitten


*** A Few Months Later ***

Dear Smitten,

Just thought I'd check in and see how things are going.

 - Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

How funny, I had just been thinking of writing you with an update.

Things are fantastic!

Our communication has really improved!

I've taken to assuming he can't read my mind, and that really helped.

We talk about anything and everything under the sun, including the big issues, and yes, marriage. Speaking of which... I'm engaged!

Once we got talking about it, he didn't waste any time.

It happened on New Year's Eve, just after midnight. And here's the really exciting part... we're getting married in the Temple next month!

The planning is going smoothly. Well, most of it at least. The important things, like all the Temple stuff, my recommend, my endowment date, temple clothing, sealing date, my wedding dress, is all set, but the bridesmaid dresses, hair, flowers and chasing RSVPs is a headache.

But hey, we've done heaps in the last 3 weeks, and there's still 3.5 weeks to go, so I'm sure it will be fine.

My fiancé is very good at keeping me calm. I'll list my concerns to him, and he'll go through them one by one and help me sort it out and feel more confident about it.

Oh, and he calls me beautiful now too!

It happened during a conversation we were having about our fears and insecurities. Once he realized I had insecurities about the way I look, he got me to open up to him about it, list everything I don't like about my looks, and he banished them all, one by one.

I know that my beauty doesn't come from a man, and that Heavenly Father made me beautiful, despite the current ideals of society, but it was really nice to hear him say it directly.

And yes, I took your advice and made sure he knew I appreciated it. I have great confidence in our relationship, and I know it's going to be eternal. We're both committed to working at it every day, to being open and honest with each other, and to supporting and uplifting each other.

We're good for each other.

He reminds me to be kinder to my brothers and turn the other cheek, and I remind him to call his mother more often, lol.

He's even managed to persuade my mother to agree to dance with him at the wedding. She has refused to dance with anyone since she was a teenager, so it will be the first time I see my mother dancing.

I'm very happy. A little wedding-stressed, but very happy nonetheless.

Thank you for your advice, not just to me, but to everyone who writes to you. I hope you know how valuable your contribution to the church's young people, and others, really is.

- Eternally Smitten.




Dear ES,

 Congratulations!

 - Bro Jo

2 comments:

the girl said...

Can you post the link of which one this is in response to please?

Dave Johnston said...

Part 1 was last Monday.

http://dearbrojo.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-relationship-part-1-she-wants-to-be.html

- Bro Jo