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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Cheesy Wednesdays: Cheese Kisses a Brick Wall

[Dear Readers,

Welcome to another episode of Cheesy Wednesdays, where we follow one reader's forays and foibles though the world of LDS Teen Dating.

I've posted several letters from Cheese (and her friend, Mac) over the years; in fact, you can find them by clicking the "Cheese" Label on the side, but it's been a while so I'm going to be posting several of them over the next few Wednesdays.


- Bro Jo]

Dear Bro Jo,

I am going on a date with Rugby Boy tonight.  I am in the chair with mom doing my hair right now.

Should be fun!

- Cheese

Dear Bro Jo,

I didn't think rugby boy was the type who would need to [struggle for dates] ... that was until the kiss goodnight.

Guys don't need to give a kiss goodnight, but if they are going to, they should make it worth my (or any girl's) time.

I see now why you say a kiss can be the end of a relationship. I just felt . . . "meh" . . . afterwards.   And I'm not particularly wanting to go on another date with him.

The real frustrating thing is, I think he felt the same.

I don't like feeling mediocre; I'm supposed to be spectacular!

Oh well if the chemistry isn't there its not there.

Maybe I should buy some snickers bars . . .


Best to the family,

- Cheese

Dear Cheese,

How bad of a kisser was he???  What exactly qualifies as "worth your time"?

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

Lets just say I would rather kiss a brick wall.

Harsh right?

Um and to make a kiss worth my time ...


1 -  Smile while you are kissing me. I can feel your face be happy. If you want a kiss act like it.

2 - Leave me wanting just a little more than I got. It makes me just that much more excited for next time I see you.

3 - Don't make me end it. If I have to end if you are probably going farther than I am comfortable with. And it kinda destroys the wanting more factor.

4 - Don't be slobbery. If its just a peck I shouldn't have to wipe my face off after. If its more than a peck try to keep the saliva off places that everyone can see

5 - Keep it short. Its a kiss not a make out session.

6 - Control your breath. If you need to take a deep breath after, you are doing it wrong.

7 - Control your thoughts. I know its hard. But think about the kiss and try not to let your mind wander too much.

8 - Make sure I actually want to kiss you. You will know. If your not sure ask. Its sweet and adorable.

9 - Make sure your breath smells okay. If you both just ate garlic and anchovy pizza its okay, but if she has been chewing gum, make sure your breath isn't offensive

10 - Don't position yourself awkwardly. Make sure there isn't something creating a barrier between you. But also don't hold her so close she feels claustrophobic.

Rugby Boy didn't fail at all of them, but the only ones he got right were 7, 8 and 9.

- Cheese

Dear Bro Jo,

I kinda said it wrong yesterday.

Yesterday I said I would rather kiss a brick wall. The real problem was: rugby boy *is* a brick wall . . .

His nickname is Bo-flex for a reason . . .

I have to admire his incredible body, but with a kiss you want someone who responds to you a little bit.

But I got the feeling was all about what was expected in the moment. Not driven by real attraction or desire.

- Cheese

Dear Cheese,

Okay . . . all of that was more than I wanted to know . . . (though some of my readers may find it valuable information when this publishes some day).

Ultimately it sounds like you learned a very valuable lesson about what's really important when it comes to those we choose to date . . .

Sister Jo is, and has always been, very pretty; but I wanted to marry her because, even as early as our first date, I realized that she was, and is, so much more than that.

- Bro Jo


Mama Cheese said...

Oh. My. Heavens.

Dear Cheese,
You are grounded. Forever.
Love, Mom

Anonymous said...

Haha, I love your mom. ^_^