Things to know

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Marriage Compatibility Questions

Dear Bro Jo,

A while back you posted a questionnaire for couples that wanted to get married, it was sort of a compatibility test.

It asked some great/hard questions that couples should think about before they get married.

I have an 18 year old daughter that thinks she's met "the one" and I'm a bit concerned because she hasn't dated very much and has never been in a relationship before.

He seems to be a good guy, but she is just SO young.

If you still have that questionnaire, will you re-post it?

Thanks!

- Mom




Dear Mom,

You bet!

You can also find it in the Notes section on the Dear Bro Jo Facebook page HERE, and there are some other notes she may also want to see, like Bro Jo's "Five A's of Why NOT to Marry That Person".

Here's the list.  Remember, it's not meant to be all-encompassing, but rather a minimal list to get coupes to think and to talk.  A good marriage is about Communication and Trust, and a good place to gauge where a couple is with those things is this list.


Bro Jo’s "LIST of STUFF YOU NEED TO KNOW TO BEFORE YOU GET ENGAGED"

 Economics

- Who will provide the money needed for the family and how?
- What is your current debt load?
- How do you feel about credit and debt?
- How many hours a week do you expect to work?
- How many hours do you expect me to work?
- How do you feel about work that requires a person to be gone from home?
- What’s more important: a home, a car, leisure time, food, or entertainment?


 Family

- How many children do you want to have?
- How soon would you like to have children?
- What would you do if my parents needed to come live with us for a very long time?
- How do you feel about your siblings?
- How would your siblings describe you?
- How do you feel about moving in with my parents? Your parents?
- What are some favorite family traditions that you hope to continue in our family?


 Goals, Hopes and Dreams

- What do you envision you’re life to be like in 5, 10, 20 and 50 years?
- If you could live anywhere, where would you pick and why?
- What’s your dream job? Do you intend to get it? Why?
- Do you see yourself serving a mission when you’re older?
- When would you like to retire?
- How important is money to you?
- What amount of money do you think we’ll need as a family?
- What do you envision your funeral to be like? What do you hope people will say about you?


Health

- Do you have any chronic health problems or concerns?
- Have you ever had a blood test? What were the results?
- What are the health histories of your family?
- What is your biggest health fear?


Love

- What things that I do let you know that I love you?
- What do you do to tell me that you love me?


Pet Peeves

- What are some things that people in your life have done that have driven you crazy or seem totally illogical or unreasonable?
- What do you do that people have said the same about you?


Philosophy & Politics

- Is it better to be smart or attractive?
- Would you steal bread to feed your children?
- How do you like to handle political disagreements?
- How do you feel children should be disciplined?
- Do you believe a woman should keep house or go to work?
- What habits, possessions or activities would be the most difficult for you to give up if I asked?
- How do you describe yourself politically?
- What do you list as your top five priorities, in order?
- What do you think about Tattoos?  Do you have any?  Do you see yourselff getting a Tattoo in the future?
- How do you feel about other body and facial art, like piercings, carvings and brandings?


Religion

- Describe your relationship with God.
- What do you have a testimony of? And how did you gain that testimony?
- How do you think a person can best grow their testimony?
- Do you think its okay to take “vacations from Church”?
- What are the things in life that you think its okay to miss Church for?
- Where do you draw the line between faith and personal revelation?


Sex and Morality

- What’s the furthest you’ve ever gone? With whom, how often, and how recently?
- Have you ever had sex? If so, with whom, why and how often?
- Have you ever looked at pornography? If so, when was the last time?
- What do you think should be done to protect children from pornography?
- Have you ever done anything that made you unworthy to enter the temple? If so, what did you do and what have you done about it?
- How would you feel if we couldn’t have sex for the first five years of our marriage (or longer) because of injury or some other problem?
- What are your sexual expectations? How often? How adventurous? How soon?
- What does sex mean to you? Is it an expression of love? Strictly for fun? Do you see it as an obligation?



- Bro Jo

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