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Monday, June 2, 2014

PDA . . . At the Temple?

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey there Bro Jo!

Here's a back-story for my question: I'm at BYU-I, and I went to the Rexburg temple last week, and there was an engaged couple there doing baptisms. The line was really long (I had to wait in the foyer for a while :), so I was sitting by this couple for a very long time.

Anyways, the guy did not seem able to keep his hands off of his fiancé.

I don't think they were crossing any lines but . .  I felt awkward because they were being a little distracting.

The girl didn't seem to mind the attention, but she didn't really reciprocate.

However, the guy always had his arm around her, play with the bottom of her skirt, put his hand on her knee (even wedged his hand through her legs when they were crossed).

It seemed a bit extreme to me, especially since the temple is a place of worship, not flirting, you know?

Not saying that you can't flirt, but I feel like the focus should be more on the ordinances, you know? 

Anyways, I was just wondering what you thought about Temple PDA?

Thanks!!

- Wondering




Dear Wondering,

The hands between her knees thing crosses a PDA line for me whether a couple is at the Temple or not.

I think anything beyond hand holding and peck kisses (closed mouths, no spit) is too much in public, even for married people.

If I'd have seen this couple in the Temple I'd have said something (probably something gentle like "I know you kids have the hots for each other but, brother, you need to show her a little more respect, especially here"), but then we old people can get away with saying stuff like that.

(Okay. Truth be told, I might have ignored them, but if Sister Jo was with me she'd certainly would have encouraged me to say something.)

As I've said before, unless a couple is married, I don't think the Temple is an appropriate date.

Glad you went to the Temple, though!

- Bro Jo

5 comments:

Laura said...

I too saw this a few times when I lived in Rexburg and went to do baptisms. A lot of flirting and touching and kissing. It was distracting.

Anonymous said...

People are only uncomfortable with it when they are single. Once it's YOU sitting in the Temple with your significant other, it is AWESOME! I Love going to the Temple with my husband! We're not grossly all over each other, but the Spirit in the House of the Lord definitely has a tenancy to bring out the tenderness we feel for one another.

Bro Jo said...

I'm not single.

And I'm not the only married person that thinks there's a huge chasm between "tenderness" and the PDA that makes other people uncomfortable.

- Bro Jo

Bro Jo said...

I'm not single.

And I'm not the only married person that thinks there's a huge chasm between "tenderness" and the PDA that makes other people uncomfortable.

- Bro Jo

Laura said...

Anonymous,

I am married. I can promise you, I have never seen (nor done so myself as a married person) married couples nearly sitting on each others' laps, nuzzling noses, stroking hair, taking several long kisses, petting legs, muttering sweet nothings and giggling, while playing footsies in a temple chapel with at least 50 other people sitting right around them. This is honestly what has happened in the baptistery in Rexburg.

When my husband and I were sitting outside of the sealing room waiting for the sealer to come talk with us before the ceremony, there was another couple waiting to be sealed in the waiting room with us. We were both holding hands with our significant other, gazing lovingly into the other's eyes, smiling and snuggling a little (but not perching our upper legs on top of the others!)
Yes, there are places in the temple where it is entirely appropriate to snuggle a bit and share a kiss. The spirit is too strong not to share the love with your eternal companion! However, the baptistery with your date is not one of those places.