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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

How Can He Move Past Divorce?

Dear Bro Jo,

I wrote you when I got back from my mission and you helped me out a lot.

I found a girl got married, and lived happily.

Then she cheated on me, ran away, and today filed divorce papers.

I am a mess right now but any tips you can give me with trying to move forward and build relationships would help.

I think right now it would not be romantic but you never know.

Thanks,

Hit Rock Bottom




Dear Rock,

I'm sorry, bro; that sucks.

Some point in the future, perhaps a ways out, you may be able to look back and say "wow, I sure am glad I found out about her unfaithfulness early, rather than find myself single and in my 50's having spent too much of my life married to a woman who never loved me, and whom I never should have trusted".

Moving forward will take time; healing always does.

You're about to find out who your real friends are . . . and you may need to make some new ones.

You're entitled to some bitter, angry and hurt feelings; some people find writing those down in letters that never get sent to be very therapeutic.

Talking to a good friend or two that you can vent to when needed - you're certainly always welcome by writing me - is always good.

But, in public, try to not let those feelings become a description of who you are.

Honesty is appreciated, but it's a positive attitude that's attractive (and not just in a romantic way, either).

Do your best to find the humor.

As we say with interventions, the best thing about being at rock bottom is that you know it's going to get better.

Just remember, not every woman is as awful as your ex.

And, as Sister Jo always says, nothing helps us get through difficult personal times than being of service to others.

God bless,

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The only problem with saying she never loved him is that she loved him enough to get married but when marriage didn't turn out to be nothing but rainbows and butterflies she decided she didn't love him anymore. Love is a choice and she decided that when it started being hard to love him she wouldn't do it anymore.