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Monday, September 29, 2014

When You Believe Someone is Unworthy to Serve a Mission, What Should you Do? - Part 2

Dear Bro Jo,

I may have given you the wrong impression on a few points. I actually know the girl really well.

I don't want to get too specific, but there's a familial tie, but she's also a friend. It's the boyfriend I don't really know.

She actually came to me in tears asking for a blessing just before she talked to Katy, but wouldn't really say what she needed a blessing for.

I did the best I could, but it was sort of a weird experience. I've watched her personal life really plummet.

As for the information being 2nd hand, it isn't anymore, based on our conversation.

I agree with you that I should have done this face to face, which was my original intent when I emailed her saying I'd like to talk, but she has been distancing herself from me (she knows that I think the boyfriend is emotionally abusive to her) and wouldn't until I said more. Then when she pressed me more what about,

I cracked.

By the end of the conversation, she had admitted that they had been immoral as recently as 3 months ago (in a way that requires someone to wait a year or more to go on a mission), but then she also claimed that she had told her Bishop as much as he "needed" to know.

So, just based on math, I'm certain about the non-full disclosure thing.

Anyway, none of those facts would appear to change your advice, which I thank you for.

I wish I knew her Bishop, but she's doing the whole mission process through a student ward and I don't know how to find him other than asking her.

That wouldn't be too obvious, now would it?

I care about her a great deal, and like you said, it is really hard having to sit back and watch her standing on the road pretending that the bus isn't headed straight for her.

I feel at peace somewhat about trying, but now I'm staying out of it.

My main question was spurred on by D&C 42 when it talks about 2 witnesses condemning someone guilty of adultery, but it says nothing about 1 witness, or when it deals with fornication and not adultery.

I wondered if I had some sort of obligation to be a witness, now that my information is pretty first hand.

Thanks again for the advice.

If anything, I've finally realized why Lucifer's plan was so appealing that we could take away the ability of people we love doing things that hurt themselves.

I'm not saying I agree with it, or don't understand the implications of removing agency, but I never quite understood why a full 1/3 would actually fall for it...until now.

Thanks,

- Trying




Dear Trying,

You have no obligation or authority to be that kind of witness.

Pray for her.

Pray with her.

And be a positive influence in her life, especially as you testify of the love of the Savior and the power He has to return joy to her life.

Don't run to her Bishop.

Be a support.

And, as I said, be positive.

God bless,

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Laura said...

That is an incredibly hard situation.
Keep being loving and supportive.
The bus will come. She will have hard times. It's inevitable. She may manage to move out of the way before the crash (she may come to fully confess sooner than later), but she may not. No matter what goes down, be a loving support. Because she needs it. And she is really going to need it. With this kind of sin and the consequences comes humiliation, and to have someone love you and not judge you based on your faults is the best kind of support to carry you though the hard times. Your constant assurance of love and support will undoubtedly help carry her through, whether she sees it now or not. Because by loving her in her presence (and I'm not talking romantic love here) will be a reflection of Christ's infinite love and help her better hold on to, accept, and receive His atonement.