How Important is Political Agreement?

Dear Bro Jo,

I live in (location withheld) and with the big election that just happened that I'm sure you are aware of, it got me thinking:  how important is it to have the same or similar political views as your significant other/potential spouse?

At what point in your relationship should you start discussing political views with them?

Could different political opinions be a deal breaker?

Should they be?

What if everything else about them is perfect except their political views?

- Active Voter




Dear Voter,

The issue isn't whether or not you agree on everything, but how you deal with the things that you don't agree on.

Sister Jo and I share many similar opinions, but when we disagree we can argue rather passionately. 

She's a skilled debater, and I always think I'm right, so it can be kind of volatile.

Sometimes we need to each retreat to our separate corners.

Heck, there have been more than a few times when we'll argue even though we agree.

Our disagreements never get physical or violent, but there has been yelling . . .

Somehow we still make it work.

Really, I have no idea how I deserve her or how she puts up with me (and I'm sure she'd often agree with that sentiment).

But, and this is a big thing, I don't think that kind of relationship works for very many people.

In fact, if we disagreed a lot about stuff that either of us thought was truly important, I don't think our marriage would work.

No one in their right mind wants to be disagreed with or fight all of the time . . .

So I think in addition to looking at what you disagree about, you need to also address how you disagree.

Some people (certainly not us) can have very strong opposing opinions and simply express them, agree to disagree, and move on with no fuss. (That would actually make me more angry, by the way.)

I think your opinions on things, including politics, is really something that ought to come up in the first couple dates, if not the very first date. 

Just remember, no one agrees with anyone all of the time.

Can differences of opinion be a deal breaker?

Sure.

Should they be?

Sometimes.

Better to find someone you generally agree with.

Best (and more importantly, I think) is to find someone with whom you can resolve your differences because of how much you both, in a Christlike way, put the other person before yourselves.

As I've said often, Communication is the Key!


- Bro Jo