Love Isn't a Feeling, It's an Ability

Dear Bro Jo,

I have a question about Love.

I'm just three months away from my 19th birthday, and confused...

When I was Fourteen my parents paid a Young Man from our Ward to come over and babysit my Brothers when they went out.

This Young Man went to Church with us,

He is really good with all the little kids at church and they chase after him, latch onto him and won’t let go.

He is a Seminary Graduate, Eagle Scout and has worked with the Bishop in the Young Men’s Program,

He is a worthy Priesthood holder.

We went to Homecoming and later to Prom together his senior year,

We have liked each other since the first time we met, and have been friends for a few years.

He was my Math and Science tutor when I was having trouble and helped me pass Chemistry and Math.

I found myself getting close to him and Shut down, completely ignored him and really hurt him but He is still here for me.

We talk about life, about the gospel and he likes to tell me what he sees in me, my sense of humor and everything.

When I found myself faced with a great Health challenge, a chronic illness he told me he would be there for me, and has asked me how I'm doing,

What it's like to be sick all the time and really cares. but with my Illness I have not been the greatest person to be around; I'm mostly an Optimistic Daughter of God but once in a while I get really irritable and shut everyone out.

Someone at Church told me that I shouldn’t let him go, and it really got me thinking and made me reassess my actions the last few years. a Friend convinced me to talk with him about my feelings from our last date and I did, only to have him tell me it was okay and that He forgave me already.

So I sit here wondering what I did to deserve him and He actually gets me to open up, something I have had a hard time with since my childhood was full of fake friends and Bullies, low Self Esteem and all that.

He lets me know that I'm beautiful and perfect the way I am and I don’t have to change to impress him, he cares about me, despite all my Flaws and imperfections that He sees right through.

We told each other that we want the best for each other and I'm watching him leave next month for his Mission to India; I know there are Children of God there that need him.

So I guess my question is:  if you could describe Love what would it be?

I know it’s an Action and it’s something you do, but I'm not sure Caring about them and wanting the best for them is all that love is.

I keep thinking there is something more to Love that we haven’t covered yet, other than Forgiving, and caring, looking past the imperfections and to the Heart, being able to trust them and all of that which we have covered in our relationship.

I walked away, and it’s almost like something pulled me back.

Like Heavenly Father has some plan.

We are both to the point where we are trusting in Heavenly Father.

If we are meant to be together, we’ll be together, if not then there is someone else out there who is better for the other one and we only want the other to be Happy in life.

So I will stop rambling now.

Hope it’s not confusing.

Sincerely,

- Confused and wondering...




Dear Confused,

There are many, many legitimate definitions of "love".

I think you clearly love this guy, and he clearly loves you.

Is it romantic love?

Perhaps.

I believe that love for an Eternal Companion is best described as caring about their happiness more than your own at the same time that you can trust that they feel the same.

In that regard, it certainly seems like you've hit the jackpot.

And so has he.

- Bro Jo