Workout Buddies

Dear Bro Jo,

How are you?

How is your family?

I haven't written in a while, but it's mostly because I don't have a ton of questions until now.

Here's the story: I have a friend from work, I'll call him Steve Rogers (he is an ROTC student, I feel like the military connection just works. And he thinks he's a superhero.) and he is married to a friend.

On Halloween our work had a party and I met her for the first time and she and I were instantly friends.

After that we started going to the gym together for our workouts and sometimes "Steve" would join us.

I didn't think much of it until the last few days.

In a week she will be deployed for military service for 9 months.

Steve helps me a ton when I go to the gym.

He spots me, makes sure I have proper form, and pushes me so I get the best workout.

After my friend is gone she has told me if I want to continue to work out with Steve that it's fine with her.

But would that be weird to be working out with my friend’s husband while she is out serving the country?

I am friends with him independent of her, but I would have never started working out with him if it weren't for her.

Thoughts?

You always seem to know what to say.

Thanks for all you do, and Merry Christmas!

- Natasha




Dear Natasha,

Yes, it would be wrong to spend ANY time with him when she's not there ... but especially at the gym.

Even more so while he's lonely because she's out of the country.

It doesn't matter how you feel or whether or not she gives her permission; a man in a committed relationship shouldn't be spending any one on one time with a girl who is not his wife.

Ever.

There is not any situation where that is appropriate.

Merry Christmas,

- Bro Jo 

PS: Relatives are the exception to the one-on-one rule, but by that I mean moms and sisters, not sister-in-laws. At the very best it looks bad, but it can also lead to hurt feelings, confusion, and . . . well . . . some pretty bad decisions.