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Friday, February 6, 2015

Why Won't the Girl He's Been Dating Commit? (Part 2)

Dear Bro Jo,

Actually, I'm a graduate student in a Midwestern state.

I got back from my mission several years ago, and she just barely returned from hers in January.

She's also a graduate student.

She says that she's always had this 'rule', but I can't conceive of any reason for having such a rule.

I worry that maybe she has her eye on someone else in the small, YSA community out here who hasn't made a move yet and wants to keep her options open just in case.

If that were the case, I'd rather not be in such a relationship.

However, I really like this girl, and if this odd rule really is just some idiosyncrasy of her family, then I'm willing to play along for a little while.

But still, isn't the definition of being in a 'relationship' being exclusive?

I apologize for not making my situation more clear before,

Thanks again!

- NW




NW,

The rule as teens makes total sense to me . . . but as RMs???

Nope.

Not in a million years.

Either she:

a) doesn't want to get married
b) isn't aware that she's an adult
c) doesn't understand that mature relationships go through various and increasing levels of commitment, and that's all part of getting to the Big Show at the Temple (too much NCAA for me right now, I think) or, hate to say it
d) she's trying to let you down easy, but the bottom line is she doesn't see you as The Guy. 

You could talk to her if you think it's a-c to clarify . . . but I'm with you; it's likely d.

I say talk to her, but be prepared to move on.

And, who knows, while neither you or I are hoping this is the case, it may just turn out that you've dodged a bullet here and avoided spending any more time with a girl who's . . . well, nutty.

- Bro Jo

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