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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Is It Over?

Dear Bro Jo,

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for about a month now. He is so funny, kind, chivalrous, and he gets along with my family!

He's a really great person, one of the best men I've ever had in my life. In only month, I feel so close to him.

 The past couple weeks however, it feels like we're pulling apart just a little bit.

There are more awkward silences, it feels slightly odd to hold his hand or look him in the eyes.

I'm not sure what's going on.

I want to ask him how he feels about us, if anything has changed, but I'm scared something's wrong. 

I'm not ready for the relationship to be over right now, if ever!

I still want to be with him and I know there is so much more that could come out of this relationship.

What should I do?

Thanks!

- Hopeful




Dear Hopeful,

You have to talk to him.

If it is over, waiting certainly won't make it better or easier.

It may be that nothing is wrong.

This might just be a mood he gets in.

You'll need to decide if you can live with that or not.

And it could be that something is wrong and he just doesn't want to tell you.

At only one month, that's very understandable.

When you've been in a relationship for several months and the person you're seriously considering marrying starts keeping new secrets from you, more than just being a private person, then (if this bothers you) it's time to move on.

As I said, talk to him.

Don't back him in to a corner.

Simply and lovingly state your observation and concern.

It's better to know than to not.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you definitely need to talk to him. When you're together and you feel like you're in a setting where you can open up, then ask him how you feel your relationship is going. If he's the right type of guy for you he should open up and let you know how he feels. And of course listen and then let him know what you think. Depending on how well you communicate with each other is crucial. If you don't bring up these things with him then how are things ever going to get worked out? Set a time in your mind when you'll talk to him about it and then stick with it.