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Friday, May 15, 2015

Telling Her You Like Her - Part 2 of 2

Dear Bro Jo,

I have one more follow up question: Is it best to tell her I like her in person, on phone, through email, or through text?

And if she does than should we have a discussion were we explain where we think our relationship is hung and where it should go?

Thanks again,

- Y




Dear Y,

 It's BEST NOT TO tell her you like her. (Didn't I say that???)

The DTR talk is something you should have when a relationship Actually Has The Potential to go somewhere, and with you going on a mission in a year (you'd better) then the "relationship" can't go anywhere, so there's no point.

Look . . . I get it.

You're smitten and you think that it will unburden you in some way to tell her. You think you'll feel better, and you hope that she'll say she likes you too . . . perhaps there will be some kissing . . . blah blah blah.

The thing is, you're "dying" to know . . . it's "all you can think about". It's clouding your judgement and occupying Way Too Much of your time.

It's a mistake, I think, but if you must tell her how you feel, at least be man enough to do it in person. 

Imagine. "I really like you, but not enough to have the courage to tell you to your face." 

Phone?

Email?

How impersonal!

And shame on you for even suggesting that you tell her via text.

Why not write a note confessing your undying love with a box that says "check here if you like me too" and send it with one of your 8-year old class mates?

You know, I asked Sister Jo about this, and we never had a "Determine the Relationship" talk.

We simply spent all of our time together.

The fact that we liked each other was evident in the kissing, and the fact that we were a couple was clear in all the hand holding and time spent.

She said "if you'd felt the need to ask if we were in an exclusive relationship, I'd have pitched you for being an idiot".

Good luck,

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

I must have misread the email, cause I thought you said do tell her so that definitely clears things up:)
Thank you for that information, when the time comes (after my mission; I am going there is no question in my mind) I will know how to proceed.

I figured I knew the answer of what way to ask but I wasn't sure what you recommended.

Thanks for all your help.

Oh and um I never intended to tell her with the intention of starting a relationship but to tell her I can't because I'm going on a mission and hopefully leave her less confused and not hurt.

Am I wrong in thinking there needs to be some sort of communication about why not so that there aren't assumptions?

If you have any recommended plan of procedures it would definitely help:) again I'm sorry for the nagging and the confusion (emails do not convey tone at all) and I'm thankful for your time and help.

- Y




Dear Y,

Not nagging at all.

Communication is always good.

But what leads you to think that you need to have the conversation then, if not to find out how she feels?

Don't get me wrong, I agree that if the subject has been broached either directly or by actions, then a conversation needs to be had.

However, if the subject is not out there, then having the talk is a little like announcing what you're going to speak about at the beginning of your speech; it's superfluous and unnecessary.

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

Alright cool!

Thanks for your help.

I shall email you if I have more questions.

You've been a big help and helped sort out what to do.

Thank you,

- Y




Dear Y,

Anytime.

- Bro Jo

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