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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Learning How to Talk to People

Dear Bro Jo,

So you probably hear this all the time but I need help.

Well now that that's been said I have some explaining to do.

Are you ready for this? 

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... Ok I'll skip ahead.

So, I am very awkward.

But, not in the full sense of the word.

I live in a family with only brothers and no sisters and when I was young I would play with my older brother and his friends who became like older brothers to me.

But now being a senior in high school I've realized I'm not being seen as little sister material anymore, which stinks because I still get along very well with guys BUT alas, I am very awkward.

Not awkward in the sense that I can't talk to them but awkward like if I figure out a guy kinda likes me or if I kinda like a guy I cannot speak to him because that would be against "The Code of Awkwardidity" (Yes I made up that word and yes it's super cool.)

So I haven't actually gotten to the problem yet though, because believe it or not I've always enjoyed being a little awkward and innocent and never getting into a liking thing with boys, it's so much more fun (I guess I'm mentally still 9... In the coolest way possible ;).

But, now I come to the actual problem.

So there's this boy who I went to prom with last year and we're good friends and we are both VERY awkward in the same way so we get along great. Because we are both very outgoing and friendly and funny but awkward in crush situations.

But now he's either told his friend that he likes me or his friend found out which is awkward, and his friend has tried to help him talk to me but he's really just made if very, very obvious which is awkward, and we go to a small school so now everyone knows about it which is awkward, and now he doesn't talk to me as much because, well, it's awkward.

So I definitely don't want to start dating this guy or anything but I do want to still talk to him because we've been good friends and we get along, but now he hardly talks to me at all.

Basically, how does an awkward me manage to get an awkward him to talk to me at all and have it not be awkward??!

Oh and also we don't have any classes together so we'd only talk in the halls so it's not like I can just sit by him and class and we can chat, the conversations have to be initiated and should I be the one doing it all the time?

Or should I do it at all?

Or should I just be a hermit and go live a peaceful life among herds of llama's? (not a bad option now that I think about it)

So, does this make sense at all?

Probably not, anywho have fun trying to answer this.

Thanks Bro Jo!

Signed,

Nobody (as in Nobody's perfect ;)




Dear Nobody,

So...how do you talk to a guy more than you have so far because you like him and want to get to know him better but don't want to exactly become his girlfriend ... (whew!)... Is that right?

Learning how to talk to people, whether we have crushes on them or not, is a very important life skill. I think a good place to start is by finding those not-walking-through-the-hall moments when you can go up and sit with them.

Lunch. Library. Mutual.

All of those can be possibilities.

Don't become clingy or a stalker, just look for opportunities.

And when they do come up, focus on showing genuine interest in his life and what's going on.

Ask. Listen. Respond.

Valuable skills indeed.

Have fun!

- Bro Jo

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I always thought awkwardness was just a short way of saying "being so concerned that others are judging you that you're too paralyzed with fear to be yourself". If so, then solution = stop thinking that others are judging you, because even if they are thats probably worse for them than anything they're actually judging you on lol.

Laura said...

^^^^ What anonymous said. People really don't think about us as often as we tend to think they do! Most people are pretty self-absorbed, or another way to put it, extremely self-conscious. The ones who ARE always thinking of others and rarely themselves are actually probably the extremely charitable people. So relax, let yourself go, and worry no more. :)