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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The Mission or the Boyfriend?

Dear Bro Jo,

First of all - your blog & your wisdom is amazing!

Thank you for making your insight available online - it has been really helpful!

Now I'm not sure if this has been addressed on your blog before, but I feel like I'm in a bit of a pickle and need some extra guidance!

I just submitted my mission papers, and over the last 6 months I've been getting really close to this guy in my ward who was inactive/on the verge of inactivity and has because I pretty much "called him unto repentance" of the way I saw his life was going and I had been at that same place before, and I knew it would end badly!

He really appreciated that I had done that, and said no one had ever cared enough tell him to get back on track before, not even his parents.

Since then, we text every day and we go out for casual lunches once a week & we have been on a few dates. I'm 90% sure he likes me & is attracted to me and I definitely like him.

He hasn't served a mission, but now had a desire too - but some of the things he does show that he still isn't really, deeply committed to the gospel. I have tried to back off, and "lock my heart" because my papers are in - but every time I see him at institute or Church or firesides, he comes and talks to me and I seem to fall for him all over again! I'm not sure what to do - because I feel for him so deeply and just want him to actually feel the saviors love because it'll make him happy!

But I know it's dangerous territory as he has broken the law of chastity with his previous girlfriend and he's not fully back living the gospel even though he comes to church.

How can I support him in coming back to Church but still bridling my feelings & keeping a friendly relationship before on I go on my mission?

Sorry for the long spiel, but thank you!

- Confused Soon to be Missionary

Dear Soon to Be,

First let me say thank you for the kind words.  Not sure I deserve them, but thank you none-the-less.

Unless you're both willing to give up on the missions and stay and become Eternal Companions, I think you need to seriously cool things off.

That means no more dates, no more acting like a potential girlfriend . . . you know what I mean.

Don't just cut him off cold turkey. Have the talk.

Tell him that the time has come for you to focus on your upcoming mission.

Be honest, tell him you like him, but that you know the timing is not right for you and he as far as anything Eternal is concerned.

Tell him that you are excited about the progress that he's making, that you support him and want to be his friend.

And, by all means, share your testimony.

Share your testimony of the Savior, of the Atonement, and of the Love and Joy that we can all feel when we commit ourselves to being Disciples of Christ.

- Bro Jo

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