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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

What Can a Teen Girl Do When a Guy Wants a Relationship and She's Not Ready?

Dear Bro Jo,

So... I'm 17, I've never had a boyfriend and I don't want to until I'm out of high school.

That's a solid rule for me.

This guy I liked back in June (we'll call him Henry) we used to text and talk all the time.

He wanted a relationship, I didn't.

For a while I just ignored the fact that he wanted more than just talking, when I stopped ignoring it and realized the clash in desires, I got over him, told him that, and stopped talking to him for a couple weeks.

Then Henry started chatting with me at stake youth activities and then over social media, just simple conversations so I assumed he was completely over me and it was alright to go back to being friends.

He got a girlfriend and that's about when he started occasionally saying mildly flirtatious things and chatting more frequently.

I talked to a close friend about Henry and he told me not to worry about it. So I tried to not worry about it and respond less frequently.

Then he showed up to an ice skating activity that my ward's youth (he's in another ward in the stake, should've mentioned that earlier) were going on this last Friday.

I had told him about it earlier in the week, in hindsight it probably seemed like an invitation that's my goof.

He was pretty flirty at the activity while I was just trying to hang out with all of my friends and not be rude.

Yesterday, Henry asked if my friends thought he was my boyfriend and then if they thought we'd make a cute couple.

This freaked me out. I tried to brush him off by saying that my friends thought I looked cuter with a different guy-- I don't think that helped.

Honestly, I'm clueless.


Thank you!

- 17 and Clueless

Dear 17,

It sounds like you're doing fine to me.

If it gets to the point where he's really bothering you, then tell him clearly - no softening things - that you have no desire to be in a relationship before you're old enough.

 And, if you feel so inspired then you can add "but I am available for Casual Group Dates if you're interested."

- Bro Jo

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