Is the Girl Off-limits?

Dear Bro Jo,

I recently became active again in the Church after 6 years.

Upon getting back into Church, I've met some great friends, learned many things, and have begun to gain a testimony.

My issue is this: my new friend is absolutely the most amazing young lady I have ever met, she is so much fun to be around, and helps me to better myself in my faith. She is mature, lively, and we always are flirting, but the problem is that she is writing a missionary in the field.

I like her, a lot, but I respect her more and want her to be happy even if it means that she stays with him.

I worry about talking to her about it because I don't want to ruin a friendship or make things worse. 

Do I pursue or respectfully back away?

Do I concentrate on my faith and just allow The Lord to do his will?

The more I write this, the more I feel like an idiot for falling for a taken girl. 

Very Respectfully,

- Willing to Wait




Dear Willing, 

I don't believe that a girl "waiting" for a missionary is as "taken" as either of them may think that she is. 

I'm constantly warning young people that once a young man, or young woman, leaves on a mission that should they be "involved with" anyone both parties consider that "all bets are off". 

Two years of no-romantic contact with someone you can't date or even talk to during that time does not a solid relationship make. 

That and, as Sister Jo often says, "all's fair in love and war" adds up to my belief that you should give it a shot. 

Now, I also think you should never hang your activity or testimony on your relationship with another person. 

Your own eternal joy is your priority, with your spouse and children immediately following. 

It's like I posted on the Facebook page the other day: just like saving someone who is drowning, you need to keep yourself alive to do it. 

No man is an idiot that falls for a great woman; but we can question his sanity of a single man fails to pursue a possible great eternal relationship with a great single woman. 

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo, 

I sincerely thank you for your advice. 

I talked with her about the situation and she stated to me that she has the same feelings that I have for her. 

We have both decided to casually date, nothing serious (i.e. not a boyfriend girlfriend type thing), and focus more on our scripture studies. 

We even have nights where we get together and just study a subject in the scriptures. 

I believe this will be more rewarding of a relationship than I had anticipated and this only encourages me to pursue her more. 

Obviously, I must be wary of the fact that she may still go back to him, but the honestly, the worst that could possibly come from this is that I gain a stronger testimony and still have a great friend who encourages me to do my best. 

It’s kind of a win-win scenario. 

Like you and Sister Jo said, “all’s fair in love and war,” who knows what could come of this situation. 

I look forward to the coming months. 

I regret nothing. 

 I admire all the work you do Brother and I plan to come to you should I have any further questions. 

As my grandfather would quote, “Keep buggerin’ on” -Winston Churchill. 

Very Respectfully,

- Willing 




Dear Willing, 

Good for you. 

Excellent quote! 

Best, 

- Bro Jo