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Friday, May 27, 2016

What If She's Pregnant?

Dear Bro Jo,

This is the most personal thing I could possible share!

It's so bad I can't sleep or eat or even relax! It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, however it is all my own doing!

Basically, I did the deed this week.

I put it lightly because any other way it will make me want to cry!

Basically, I put myself in a situation I shouldn't of and I didn't make the right decisions!

However, to complicate things even more the guy didn't use protection and I didn't take the morning after pill!!

What do I do?

I've read so much on the Internet on Mormon hand books and things and I know marriage is not an option and I don't even know if I am pregnant and won't be able to for a few weeks!

All I see is about giving the baby up for adoption?!

This scares me so much!!

I'm so disappointed with myself, how I could be so stupid and careless!

I've only just started my university course 200 miles from home and I do something so unforgivable :(! What do I do?!

I can't stop thinking about it, I'm so confused!

What do I do?!

How am I supposed to feel?!

My mum said she is there for me, whatever!

A child with no proper family set up, me leaving university!

I have sooo many things going through my head!

I've never felt like this ever before! Please help!!!

So sorry to email such a personal thing, I just feel I need the opinion of somebody totally out of the situation who doesn't know me and won't protect my feels!

Only my mum and a friend know my predicament!!!

I just don't think I'm ready to be the single 19 year old parent Mormon!!!!!

I hope you get what I'm trying to say!

Thanks so much,

- Name Withheld

Dear NW,

First of all, the sin you're suffering from is not "unforgivable".

You can't go back and "undo" what's been done, but you can move forward.

The first thing you need to do, I think, is recognize what lead you to this situation and how it has made you feel so that you can avoid this in the future.  Learn from this so that you don't make the same mistake again.

Then I think you need to go meet with your Bishop so you can know how to properly mend things with Heavenly Father.

While this may seem like a scary or daunting thing, I promise you that having this conversation will go a long way towards helping you feel better.

Lastly, should you actually happen to be pregnant (which may or may not be - no need worrying about it too much until you know) then I implore you to talk to LDS Family Services (your Bishop can direct you should that be needed) and discuss adoption.

Where marriage is not a good choice, I believe that adoption is the only other good choice (and that includes the "morning after” pill).

You're a good person.

Heavenly Father still loves you.

Good people make mistakes.

All of us.

Some mistakes are bigger and harder to overcome than others, but the atonement is for all of us, Sister.

May you again soon know the joy that comes from having all things right with the Lord.

I'm here to help anyway I can.

- Bro Jo

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