How Do You Feel the Love of God Again?

Dear Bro Jo,

My name is (withheld). 20 years old and a member of the Church but not active.

I have a feeling to write to you for some reason. I wanna tell you a little bit about my story....

I practically grew up as LDS.

Was baptized at 8 and finished personal progress, even graduated seminary.

I had many testimonies about this faith. Strong ones, that I could go on and on about.

Many people looked up to me and told me how strong and true my testimony was. I had lots of admirers in the Church...

With me being the president of the young women's and planning most of the activities.

Those were my best years and I loved every minute of it.

Going to Church and meetings and young women's made me so happy.

My parents divorced in (date withheld). Leaving me heartbroken and very depressed.

I started hating going to Church, seeing families happy and singing songs together.

I started growing in hatred towards people.

In (date withheld) I tried to commit suicide because my depression got the best of me.

I felt so alone... Felt like God left me.

Ever sense my suicide attempt I haven't set foot at the Church.

I grew to hate God and Jesus.

I stopped believing He was there.

How could He have left me?

How could He have forgotten me?

After my true testimony of him.

I'm not that strong I kept saying...

I found my patriarchal blessing.

Wow.

How amazing it was to read that again.

You don't know how good I felt and how amazing it was to read it!

That's exactly how I want my live to be.

That's what I wanted to hear.

But that can only happen if I went back to the Church and became faithfully to the commandments of God.

I have done a lot of stuff wrong and against the word of God.

Drugs, drinking, sex, porn . . .

This was weekly stuff I was doing.

Things I'm still doing.

But I want to stop.

I wanna feels God’s love again his guidance in this really hard time I'm going thru.

With no job and no income to survive off. I don't want him back for my needs. I want him back for love.

I'm doing things against what the Church says.

I don't want to repent and then do the same things again.

I know nobody is perfect, only God.

But I don't wanna make mistakes to my Savior.

I don't wanna make fun of the Church when I don't believe something.

I'm really stuck right now.

I feel like its not the right time to go back to Church.

But I also feel like I need to.

I want to have that testimony again. Also feel his love again.

Do you have any advice or help for me.... I could really use it.


- Name WIthheld




Dear NW,

I'm very impressed with your English - a horrible language to have to learn, and you’re doing great!

I believe that all good things come from God and all bad things come from Satan.

That includes feelings. The desire you have to feel the Spirit, to feel God's love . . . those are good things.

The doubts and other things keeping you from Church are Satan's way of keeping you from feeling happy again.

Even the longest journey starts with a single step, and even the path to the best destination will have ups and downs.

Pray.

Read your scriptures.

Go to Church.

When you're ready, confess your sins to priesthood authority and begin the repentance process.

Do those things that are right that you know you're supposed to do.

You'll be glad you did.

 And the longer you wait, the more regret and sorrow you'll feel.

You WILL feel His love as you are more often found doing what you know you're supposed to do. 

No more excuses.

Go and do.

And know joy!

God bless,

- Bro Jo