Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with occasional additional posts, too).

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Bro Jo is not a spokesman or authority for the LDS Church. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Friday, July 1, 2016

She Wants Him to Ask Her Out . . . Now!

Dear Bro Jo,

First off I want to say thank you because I really do admire your blog!

On all the nights where I think about stupid boy problems I also find my way on your blog searching for advice and it always helps.

So to the problem... there's this boy. And let's call this boy . . . Drew . . .  because I do not know a Drew.

So anyway, last year at school Drew and I became good friends, and it wasn't even like we were into dating each other, we just would talk in the halls and he was in my seminary class and he seemed like a good kid.

I wasn't really interested in dating him or liking him in "that way". . . . until just recently.

I switched high schools this year and I never thought that I would see him again.

A couple Saturdays ago I had a dance performance where his little sister and he were both performing.

He came up to me and just talked to me about how summer was going, and how life was, and I didn't really think about it in any way that was special I just thought that it was two friends catching up on each others summer.

No big deal right?

Well actually it turned out to be a kinda big deal.

We talked while I was waiting to go on the stage and it was like nonstop talking.

He came over me and offered me his food while I was standing right by my mom.

My mom was like "that's so flirting" . . . but I didn't think it was flirting.

Anyway it was my turn to be on stage and so he went out to the audience to watch because he's just a nice kid.

I went on and when I came off he was waiting right there and was like "hey are you coming back later to watch me perform?!"

I wasn't going to stay, and I still didn't.

I told him that I had a couple errands to run and that I might be back if the errands didn't keep me too long.

My mom heard this and was like "ohh you're going back tonight; that kid's so into you!"

I don't think he is.

Anyway, my mother made me go back that night and I sincerely hoped that he wouldn't see me, but when he did his face lit up like a firework and so then I was like SHOOT HE SAW ME.

I went to sit with a mutual friend that was there for her boyfriends performance.

Drew came up and sat right behind us and wouldn't stop talking to us all night.

It was a sweet talk not like OH MY WORD CREEP GET AWAY FROM ME.

So I stayed and then had to leave right after he was done so that I could make it home on time.

I didn't see Drew at all or talk to him until like midnight that night when my phone vibrated and it was a message on Facebook from Drew.

He just said thanks for coming back and hanging out with him all night and then I was like "it was no problem it was fun! I just need to go to sleep for nine o'clock Church tomorrow."

And he was like "oh okay yeah it's late. But I don't text on Sundays so I guess I'll talk to you on Monday?"

 And I was like "yeah sure whatever."

So Monday comes around and at like 7 in the morning I got this message from him asking for my number so I gave it to him because he's my friend.

So then we start like hard core texting and it's like a response every twenty minutes.

So then I was starting to maybe get the idea that I needed to encourage him to ask me out just so that if there are feelings on both sides then we can resolve them or just go on a date with one another.

So I went to your blog and I read about it. And I totally tried everything on there.

And he's not getting it.

I went to visit my old school and he saw me there and we hugged but that was it.

But I don't know what to do to try to get a date because I don't think he's interested.

And it would just be a casual group date with other friends but I don't know how to encourage it from here.

Thanks,

- Little Encouragment




Dear Little,

You could just ask him . . .

"Hey, we seem to have a good time together, so I'm wondering, have you ever thought about taking me on a Casual Group Date?"

Worst case is, I guess, that he says "no, not really", but at least then you'll know.

However, let me warn you: you just started flirting with this guy, and if you push too hard too soon he's likely to back off. Lots of guys (the good ones, anyway) hate it when girls are too eager or too pushy.

So, what I'm saying is, before you ask him to ask you out, give the guy some time.

I'm thinking . . . three to six months.

If he continues to show an interest then and still hasn't asked you out, maybe then you ask him if he's planning to someday.

For now . . . breathe.

At this point in life your dating should be limited to Causal Group Dating.

Hold off on Exclusive Dating until you're out of high school.

 - Bro Jo

No comments: