When Intimacy Escalates

Dear Bro Jo,

I love your blog and I have contacted you before and thank you so much for your advice in the past.

I don't know how to say this.. but my boyfriend and I have been getting way too carried away with each other.

We usually live in two different countries (in Europe) so when we do see each other we make out too intensely to the point of dry humping and it's now crossed the line of law of chastity but we haven't done "it".

But basically we are in some serious trouble and I'm currently in his country to live here for three months for the Summer.

We have been together nearly four months now and it is ridiculous how things have escalated.

We both have the same goal of making it to the Temple but we just keep failing to do what's right.

We have tried many strategies in the past like giving each other four options of what would happen if we fail again but that didn't even work.

We've now agreed to go cold turkey and stop kissing for a little bit because things escalate and yes I definitely am due to talk to the Bishop and yes I know it won't be a easy meeting.

Can I add that we do love each other very much and we want to do things the right way.

I can definitely say that I can see myself married to him because he is such a wonderful man and treats me with such great love and kindness, it's just this problem we just can't get over.

We'd like to take our time with the whole marriage thing as it is a huge commitment and we want to be the best we can be before marriage.

I'm 20 and he's 23 if you were wondering.

Thank you for your time,

- Name Withheld




Dear NW,

I'm not convinced that "cold turkey" is going to work. 

I think you two need to be chaperoned until you get married. 

And I think you should get married soon. 

Look, if you're comfortable with the list of things you should know about each other, if he passes the "Five A's of Why Not to Marry That Person" and you're both willing to work hard at your marriage and put the other person first ... I think it's time to get your recommends and head to the Temple.

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

Thank you for the advice and yes we will talk about the chaperoning together. 

We're seeing the Bishop as soon as we can to talk about our issues. 

Marriage is certainly an option but ideally we wanted to date a little longer but I guess realistically we should re evaluate that. 

Thank you for the advice!

- NW

PS: Oh and where do you find the 5 A's?




Dear Bro Jo,

Thank you for your advice and we're now getting married in August! 

Thought I'd let you know and Happy Sunday

- NW




Dear NW,

Here's the 5 A's.  

And congratulations! 

I'd love to her the story. 

- Bro Jo