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Friday, February 24, 2017

Isn't It Worth the Risk?

Dear Bro. Jo,

There's this guy that I really adore and keeps unwittingly doing things that make me like him all the more.

I want to act on this; talk to him more often and invite him over for dinner (because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach) but i don't want to seem like I'm pouncing at him. I'd also hate it if he turned me down.

I've never had a boyfriend or a relationship like that so I second guess every move I make, not knowing how I should act.

So the questions is if I do proceed should I do so with caution or throw caution to the wind? How do I proceed?

I know anything valuable is worth working for I just seem to pay one way or another for everything I have.

- Cautious College Chick

P.S. Whenever I see you name I always want to think JoBro because I'm a big Jonas brothers fan.

PPS: I debated on sending this for a while because I feel dumb asking this.




Dear CCC,

Don't feel dumb.  Romance is difficult, and we live in a world where there's a lot of bad information available.  Mix that with the lack of training in our culture, and it can be tough for anyone to know what to do.

The Jonas Brothers are great.  (Or so I'm told; not really what I'm in to, but hey!  More power to you.)  I was nicknamed “Bro Jo” (short for “Brother Johnston”) by one of my seminary students nearly 20 years ago.

My personal opinion is that you sound so desperate for this guy to like you that you're breaking to many rules.  Not honor code stuff, but the unwritten rules for how to woo and be wooed.

Yes, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but you don't invite a guy over to dinner until AFTER you're in a committed relationship.  Instead you make him treats, or even better:  encourage him to take you on a picnic date where you'll provide the meal.

See, that's the next step for you.  You need to get him to DATE you.

And that requires some communication on your part.

Don't freak out!

All you have to do is say what you mean.

"Hey.  We've been pals for a while and the thing is, I like you.  I've been waiting for you to ask me out, and I'm done waiting.  So?  Are you going to ask me out or not?"

You're going to have to put it on the line.

And I can hear you saying:  "What if I lose him forever?  What if he doesn't ask me out?"

Well, then, friend, the truth is he was never going to.  Better to know that now than to waste the next however long waiting for something that's never going to happen.

As I see it, this is a win-win for you.

Worst case scenario, he's not smart enough to know how awesome you are.

Best case scenario . . . well, one step at a time, shall we?

- Bro Jo

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