Should He Start Dating?

Dear Bro Jo,

I recently found this blog (looking for LDS dating advice) and I think I can step outside of my comfort zone now.

I am 17 years old and I have always been quiet and reserved, just by nature, so it's hard for me to get out there. I've never been out on a date and don't have many friends outside of my ward because of it. I have been trying harder recently though by going to the dances more frequently but, I feel like girls just aren't eager to get to know me because of my introversion. I don't think it's because of my physical appearance either because I know girls aren't as vain as us guys. (Not bragging, but I have been told I have some positive qualities both physical and spiritual).

I feel like I'm missing something important, like confidence. Should I even try to go for it?

I know you probably get this a lot but, what can a quiet guy like me do to get a nice, decent girl to go on a date with him? Any other tips or advice?

Love the blog BTW.

Sincerely,

The Quiet One





Dear Quiet,

Of course I think you should "go for it".

It's pretty normal and natural to apprehensive about dating.

That's why I recommend that people your age go on Casual Group Dates.

Where you're at in life, I think dating should be a no-pressure, very simple, get to know people better activity.  Kind of like a Priest-Laurel activity . . . without leaders.

Start by getting a good Dating Buddy; someone who shares your standards (even if he's not LDS) and won't push you or your date to be or do anything unbecoming a future missionary.

Lastly, the trick to getting to know people better is to learn to become a good listener.  Don't grill them like you're a detective in a cop show, just ask sincere questions about the things they like and do; listen to what they say, and ask relative follow-up questions when appropriate.

Relax and have fun.

- Bro Jo