Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with occasional additional posts, too).

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Bro Jo is not a spokesman or authority for the LDS Church. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Monday, February 20, 2017

The "Hey sup" Text

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi!

So question for you. I'll keep it short.

Recently I have given my number to a couple of guys who have asked.

The first one has only texted me things like "Hey" or" what's up?", which I have so far ignored. I'm not going to be his texting buddy. And this weekend the second guy asked for my number he was very vague about when he would have time to do something together. Today he texted me "Hey sup"

So I guess my question is should I just continue to ignore the texts?

If they get around to actually get around to asking me out great. If not then oh well?

Also if they ask when I see them around why I haven't answered what should I say?

Thanks,

- M




Dear M,

As much as this old guy is not a fan of it, texting is how people communicate now.  

While I still maintain that personal communication (like date requests and breakups) doesn't belong in a text, an initial "what's up" shouldn't just be ignored.

I think a more appropriate and effective response would be to say "nothing much here; why don't you give me a call".

And, yes, if a guy doesn't actually ask you out, especially if you've told him that he should, then "oh well" - his loss!

Which gets to your last question.  When someone complains of your lack of response to their Very Lame" attempt at communication, see it as a teaching opportunity.  Don't condescend or lecture, simply say "I think I'm worth the effort of a phone call or to be asked out in person; don't you agree?"

Then, if you really want results, touch him on the arm and tell him that you're hoping he'll take the hint and give you a call.

After all, you can't expect people to live up to your expectations and standards if they have no idea what those expectations and standards are.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Ben said...

Thank you for this, I appreciate your respect and how you answer questions.