Dear Bro Jo,
Hey, Bro Jo.
Just wanted to let you know that I finally cut off all contact with NW. I couldn't do it before - I loved her too much!
I continued to be her friend and talk to her until about a week ago, when she hinted that she wrote a suicide note and explicitly said that if she had a plan and a little more desire, she would have taken her life that day. I was scared for her so I contacted her family (we were back home in different states by this time). When her family confronted her about it, she got angry at me because "I was just supposed to listen" and she claimed it was none of my business, especially since she told me she had gotten over it and was going to bed. I was shocked. You can't threaten suicide, then say you're "okay" and suddenly turn it into no big deal. Or be ANGRY when someone tries to legitimately help. I should have told her family a long time ago. I know I did the right thing, so my conscience is clear.
The next day, she texted me "I forgive you," Honestly, at that point I got angry. All night she had been sending texts demanding that I apologize for telling her family, etc, but I refused to respond because I know I did absolutely nothing wrong in this situation. Her saying she "forgave me," like it was still all my fault, pushed me over the edge and I finally blocked her and cut off all contact. I did it in a moment of anger, which wasn't the most Christ-like response, but I do think it was for the best. Maybe it was that push I needed to finally get over whatever feelings I had for her.
I now suspect she's not really suicidal at all. I think she was telling me so to manipulate me, like you said. I still love her as a friend, but she has issues she needs to work out, and I'm not helping. She's pretty cruel to me, too, and that's not exactly an attractive quality. I told her as nicely as possible blocked her on Facebook, Skype, Spotify, email, and my phone...She has no way to contact me now. She probably hates me now, which makes me so sad, but oh well. I wished her all the best and hope that she'll be able to work through her problems.
In the meantime, I'm currently on vacation with my family, so that's distracted me from feeling guilty and trying to contact her again. I'm having a wonderful time with them before I head off on my mission to Seoul Korea for two years.
I saw this old conversation in my inbox and just thought I'd give you the update. Thanks for the input!
- CP
Dear CP,
I appreciate the update. And I think you've made a healthy choice, even if it took a long time to get there.
A mission will be the hardest, most rewarding two years of your life.
Proud of and excited for you!
God speed,
- Bro Jo
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