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Monday, March 20, 2017

Picking a Wedding Date

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey, Bro Jo,  It's me again.

So my fiancée and I want to get married in August but everyone else wants the wedding in December so they can plan.

So the real issue is my parents have to fly out to South Africa for a funeral ceremony the week after which is more expensive on their part with costs of flights etc.

Now I understand that but I don’t want an expensive big wedding at all. If I had it my way we'd go to the registry office and get married there and dash off to the Temple after.

I'm worried that we'll make mistakes in the next 6/7 months to come. Also we live in different countries so we can't see each other that often especially with my fiancée starting school in August for chiropractic studies.

So we basically have to take a step back and not forward in order for everyone else to be happy. But it's tearing my heart thinking that we have to be apart again for some time just because other people want the wedding.

I don't care about the wedding I just want to be with him and that's it.

I've told the people who want December that they can do the wedding and we'll just show up which is exactly what I mean.

Being engaged is supposed to be a happy time but I'm laying here awake at 3am looking for answers.

We prayed and individually pray and I feel August is a good time.

Maybe I'm just being bratty and ungrateful...

Please help!

- Stressed Bride

Dear Stressed, 

In the Grand Eternal scheme of things six months is not a very long wait. 

I share your concerns about the Temptations Satan will put in your way to try and wreck your marriage, and that's why I generally encourage couples to get married sooner rather than later. 

 And I also understand that you two being so far apart and your visits being so infrequent will add to the temptation. 

To be safe, that's going to mean not being alone together. 

Weddings are, by definition, a family thing; they are the uniting of two families together. 

In the Church we believe that uniting is for Time and All Eternity when Sealed in the Temple. 

So you have to keep the feelings and needs of your parents in mind. 

As a father, I absolutely want to be at the Sealings of my children. 

Sister Jo and I have, however, discussed situations where that could be difficult . . . even unlikely. 

For example: if the couple getting married insist on the wedding being at a place where we can't afford to travel, or if they insist on a date that conflicts with a previously planned, and equally important, event in the life of another family member. 

As you and your fiancé plan your wedding, keep in mind your culture and your family's needs; try not to be too selfish; and try to be patient. 

A couple months isn't too long to wait if it shows love and consideration for all and keeps the family peace. 

As you ponder and plan, share with your parents your desire to marry sooner rather than later; share with them your concerns about finances, living arrangements, and even staying Temple Worthy. 

As you seek the Lord in these decisions, you'll find comfort in doing the right thing. 

- Bro Jo

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