Thank you for the quick reply! You told me exactly what I wanted to hear. I honestly did a little jig around my room out of happiness.
But then I thought for a while.
What if he really likes this girl? He wants to be a good boyfriend, but he's obviously failing (I'm not too unhappy about this). He knows I'm leaving, so starting something with me would only mean a tampered relationship with this other young lady. Is he using her as a backup plan?
Trust me, I want to kiss him!
That is highly desirable. In a way, I feel like I might be overly revealing in my affections toward him. I openly compliment him in my admiration toward his foundation in the gospel, and drive for life. Another problem though..he thinks I engage in this kind of conversation with every attractive young man, and that I'm just using flattery to get guys to like me, and in a sense he might be right. I do like to be liked. I'll admit to my vanity, but I also genuinely like different aspects of different people, and take conscience notice. But me being physically attracted to someone, liking an aspect about them, and complimenting them doesn't mean I like them, correct? Is that taken as flirting?
I feel like everyone starts in the same field, but eventually you weed out the ones that aren't worth your time. Have I skewed my own reputation with the young man I have feelings for? I'm okay with dating him without physical contact. A kiss means different things to different people. Personally, many of my opinions match yours, but again they are my own.
Should I be asking him about this other girl?
Am I the backup plan?
I honestly don't feel like it, but I'm not ruling it out of the realm of possibilities.
Should I pin him into answering my questions about his intentions? Should this be one of those "it's up to you, whatever you'd like" kind of deals?
I still think kissing would be a great option, one I'm not opposed to, but is that the best one? Do you have an opinion on this? QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS.
I assume that you are against long distance relationships, as am I. I believe the terminology "being together" should be taken in a literal sense.
I feel like I'm piling all of this onto you as if you somehow have all the answers. MAYBE YOU DO? And if not anything, I hold your opinion in high regard. I've only visited your blog a handful of times, and I've certainly never written you, but today I am glad that I did.
Appreciative,
- Still Pseudonymless
Dear Pseudonymless
I don't have all the answers, just lots of opinions. And I'm not "against" long distance relationships, I just don't think they work without a marriage-level commitment. ..at least not very often.
I think you deserve answers to your questions...I just think you're asking the wrong guy.
The person you should be asking if you're a backup plan, if you're just someone to flirt with because he's lonely, if he sees the same possibilities here that you do, if this is nothing or could be something, if kissing should happen, is him ... this guy you're kind of dating.
So go talk to him. Soon.
Make sure you have gum.
Just in case.
Oh, and my advice here is to be practical and pragmatic. I don't want you to become the girl he uses for kissing because he knows he doesn't have to commit to her and she comes across as desperate and willing.
You're worth more than that.
- Bro Jo
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