Should They Get Back Together

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey Brother Johnston!

My boyfriend and I broke up six weeks ago after dating for two months.

It's not my first broken heart and I'm moving on.

While I don't know exactly the reason he broke up with me it boils down to the fact that he is not ready to be in a serious relationship. I am! I loved the experience!

I felt energized by our conversations, loved trying new things together and felt totally accepted. I made changes to become a better person because of him and I am always going to be grateful for that. I was beginning to love him.

And yes, I could see a future.

I am moving on but still have feelings of wanting him back. I tell myself that it is just the addiction center of my brain talking, and I shouldn't listen. But it talks back.

Is it possible for us to get back together - that happens right?

How do you know if that's right?

Maybe he isn't the guy for me and his bowing out of what I thought was an amazing relationship is a blessing in disguise.

But there's also the fact that we got along like none other, he was really kind, honest and hilarious.

Can I find someone better than that?

Maybe I need to let my guard down and date more people to know for sure.

And wait. Upon. The. Lord.

Thanks!!

- Name Withheld




Dear NW,

I agree that you need to date more people and trust in the Lord's timing.

I don't agree that this is the only man you could ever get along with in this way.

Yes, people get back together, but it's rare, and even rarer that doing so works out.

Unless he's not ready to be serious because he's pre-mission, everything else that might "really be the reason" is . . . well . . . not good.

Most often (and believe me when I say that I think he's making a mistake here) when a person (girls do it too) says "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" they're leaving off the rest of the sentence. 

The whole sentence is "I'm not ready for a serious relationship . . .WITH YOU".

I know that's painful.  I've been on the receiving end of that more times than I care to admit.  But if it's how they feel it's better to know right away than to be stuck in a going-nowhere relationship, wasting time instead of finding someone else.

So don't wait around.

If, someday, he actually realizes what a mistake he's made and IF you feel like he's ready to be serious and not just lonely and hanging onto you until he changes his mind or someone else comes along . . . IF . . . then you can consider it.

But, until then, keep dating!

- Bro Jo