Dear Bro Jo,
I've debated writing this for a while now. I'm not really sure where to start, or what my question really is but here I go... I live in a place where the church is really quite small and attend a YSA ward where there aren't many guys that are dating. Basically the only ones that are, are in serious relationships already. I've tried hinting at going on dates and such, and have managed a few but never anything serious. I've been home from my mission for a year and have only been on 3 dates with 3 different guys in my ward. There is so much pressure to find a husband but there isn't anyone where I live that I think is worth dating. Mainly because the only ones not in serious relationships are either preparing for a mission (and I don't want to get in the way of that) or not temple worthy. There is one new guy in the ward who is an RM and temple worthy but it seems like he's fallen for the "cutest girl in YSA" and we don't talk very often.
Recently, I took a trip to Utah and met up with one of the Elders that served in the same mission as me that I had met in the MTC. We never really served together and I think I saw him 5 times max on the mission. But we met up nonetheless. And I had a really good time. We sat and talked for about an hour and I hadn't laughed as much as I did with him in my life. He spent most of the hour trying to convince me to move to Utah. He had it basically all planned out for me. I texted him later and asked him why he wanted me to move there so badly and he told me he just wanted me to be happy and he didn't think I was happy where I am (in Canada). Of course, he would be right. He's really nice and I really like how I feel and who I am around him. He makes me want to be a better person and gives me hope that there is a guy out there somewhere (if not him) that would want to see me happy and see me do well in life. Also, he gives me hope that one day I could be sealed in the temple. It's been a week since I saw him and I think about him constantly...I'm such a girl.
I was talking to one of my companions and she brought up the fact that if I do move there, it doesn't mean that I will date him, but it does open many more opportunities than what I have now. Not only for dates but also for spiritual growth as well as I would have more access to temples and such (the closest one right now is 6 hours away). So moving there looks like a good idea right now, even just for a semester or two. But my parents aren't supportive. Right now, they're paying for my school and say they can't afford to send me there. Even though it would only be a little more expensive because of the exchange rate. There is no way I could afford to go there on my own unless I were to take some time off from school and work which isn't bad but not the greatest plan either.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is do you think it would be a good idea to move down for a bit? And if so, what is the best way to convince my parents to let me go? Also, should I continue texting the person I met on the mission and see where it leads even if I don't move right away?
Sorry for my rambling, I just need an outsider's opinion on this and I think most of all, I needed to see my thoughts written out on paper. Thanks for all that you do!
- Name Withheld
Dear Friend,
You're an adult and a Return Missionary. You don't need to convince your parents or get their permission. If you feel the Lord would have you move, then move. (Which, given the circumstances, I also happen to think is a good idea.)
If your parents can't, or won't, help you financially then get a job. You're an adult. That's what adults do.
I agree that you should keep texting with this guy (just don't be the one that always initiates the conversation), but I also think you should make plans to move as soon as possible.
You are at the point in your life where it's time to begin forming an eternal family. If that isn't going to happen where you are, you need to move to where the odds are better.
That's my opinion, anyway.
- Bro Jo
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