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Saturday, November 3, 2012

Cheese Gets a Stalker - Part 5

[Readers - Part 5 in a 5-part Special Saturday Series starting General Conference weekend.  Our friend "Cheese" has a guy in her life that really bothers her, but Mama Cheese and the Big Cheese seem to REALLY like this guy.  Does persistence pay off?  - Bro Jo]

Dear Bro Jo,

Pete is back, and ready for more..

You remember Pete, right?

Well the last 48 hours have consisted of 13 Facebook messages, 1 event invite (the event was "lets hang out" closed event and only him and me) 7 e-mails to my e-mail address I usually use and 6 to the one I don't use, 36 texts (sent to me plus 2 that I sent to him. 1 answered call, 4 calls where I hung up on him (after I answered one), 9 missed calls, and 8 voicemails!

I finally agreed to hang out with him, but I am bringing one of my other friend's older brother who is like an older brother to me as well,but Pete doesn't need to know that. To him it’s just a guy I would rather be with than him lol.

Will he ever stop?

- Cheese

Dear Cheese,

Why should he stop?

You keep giving in. (Sucker!)

His stalking and badgering you is getting him what he wants, and it doesn't matter if someone else comes along; sure, he'd rather have you all to himself, but he's still winning.

If you really want to be rid of him, then you're going to have to block his number, set up an email filter to dump all of his emails, and stop doing what he wants you to do.

Once you truly cut him off, I think he'll go back to showing up unannounced; and that's why I think it's also time to call in the Big Cheese. It's time your father have a man-to-stalker "leave my daughter alone" talk.

Anything else . . . if you don't stop encouraging him (you may think you're not, but you are), then you might as well start making wedding plans.

- Bro Jo

Bro Jo,

Well this sucks. My texts to him said to leave me alone. Mom guilt tripped me into saying yes. She also made sure I looked decent.

But its okay, right now Hunka and his best friend are "uglyiffying" me.
I also plan on leaving early with my friends bro and having him take me home, or to hang with his sister.

Mom said to be nice, but that doesn't mean I can't be disgusting, right?

- Cheese

Dear Cheese,

See, your problem started with you texting him back. Why? Why would you do that?

It doesn't matter what you say; simply replying to this guy in any way is something he's going to take as a ray of hope.

(Seriously, you need to block his number.)

And I'm going to be real honest here (that's what you expect, right?); no amount of "uglifying" is going to make a difference. Sister Jo and I met working at the same place. It was a job where people were always hot and sweaty and smelly and it didn't matter at all.

Look, if telling him you're not interested isn't working, what makes you think that doing bad make up or messing up your hair is going to make a difference?

For what it's worth, I'm laughing my head off over here!

Have fun.

And good luck!

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

Jo Boy #2 is trying to help too lol. My dad can't stop laughing mom is all mad that I am being a slob right now. Hunka and his friend are having way too much fun tearing through my closet and doing my hair and makeup it’s a party here, I'm the only one not having fun

- Cheese

Dear Cheese,

I agree with #2 - taking your brother is a better choice than taking another dude.

And you're right; we think this is hilarious!

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm about ready to take your sons up on their offer to "beat the Glee out of Pete." (Which I think is hilarious because he actually sings in BYU's Men's Chorus--get it? Men's Chorus? Glee? HA!)

Two Sundays ago he texted me asking if he could come over. I said no. Ten minutes later he was on the front doorstep with board games and treats. I would have sent him away, but my little sisters invited him in before Mom, Dad, or I was aware that he was here. (Mom & Dad say I don't have to see him ever again if I don't want to, btw.)

Anyway, I did my best to be distant, and texted him afterwards saying "I am NOT interested in you." and "It is NOT ok to show up at my house after I say 'Please don't come over!'"

So I thought he would be outta here after that, but NO!

Last Sunday he called me 3 times while I was in church to ask me to go up to a broadcast at the Conference Center with him. I was like "DUDE! I am NOT interested in you! I am going with my family, NOT YOU!

And I don't take calls or text during church! That's SO disrespectful!"

I *did* set him up on a date with a friend of mine like you suggested, but it hasn't helped at all. Now she really likes him and her sister really likes him...

EVERYONE really likes Pete except me! This is driving me crazy.

I need help in getting rid of him asap.

- Cheese

Dear Cheese,

I think you may know something about Pete that others are missing: in addition to being a creepy stalker guy, he's . . . well, a jerk that has no respect for you.

Think about it: if he had any respect for you at all, he'd listen when you tell him to stay away. Know this: no man will ever love a woman he doesn't respect. This guy is treating you like a child that doesn't know what's good for her; and he thinks what's good is him.

We don't think it would take much to beat the Glee out if him, so we figure the 15 year-old ought to be able to handle it. That is, if the 11-year old is too slow.


- Bro Jo

PS:  All kidding aside, stand your ground.  A girl should never allow others to force her to spend time with a man who doesn't respect her.  You've done so much already.  It's time you draw the line and cut him off.  No texts.  No phone calls.  No car rides.  No hangouts.  Zero.  Stand your ground.  If you don't take yourself seriously, no one else will, either.


Anonymous said...

The fact that this has 5 parts made it obvious that Pete wouldn't stop messing around with Cheese. Makes me wonder how true this whole thing even is because I've laughed so hard reading about all of these things!! Cheese, maybe you should kick Pete in the soft spot haha a girl that likes a guy would like to marry and have kids, so if you kick him there it's like you don't want to marry him so maybe he'll get the picture :D

Also, the fact that so many people like him (INCLUDING Cheese's friend and her sister) makes me think that he's not as bad a guy as Cheese says. I think Cheese might be's easy to do that and paint someone in a bad picture when you don't like them. Just my thoughts :D

Anonymous said...

It sounds like he's ONLY in it for the chase now. Everyone else loves him - why doesn't she? She must just not know how great I am because she doesn't spend enough time with me. I know! I'll MAKE her fall for me!!! Creepy.

Anonymous said...

lol I know cheese and I met the guy and liked him, too. He's sweet :) guess I'm one of *them* haha

Dave Johnston said...

When someone gives you unwanted attention it's never "sweet".

Dropping by unannounced is obnoxious.

When you repeatedly ask them to stop chasing you and they won't, it quickly escalates from irritating to disrespectful to mean.

The guy sounds like a class-A jerk to me, and I find it troubling that none of you stood up for her . . . some friends!

I'm not sure why you allowed him to "charm" all of you, or why you dismissed her feelings and so quickly put him ahead of her . . . but it wasn't right.

Girls need to be protected from Creepy Stalker Guys, even the ones that "seem nice" or that they wish were giving attention to them instead of her, and if a girl can't trust her friends and family to take her concerns seriously . . . well, that's never good.

- Bro Jo

Anonymous said...

Mama Cheese checking in...and OH it has been difficult to bite my tongue (pen? Keyboard?) as Bro Jo has run this exchange! Suffice it to say that as soon as Big Cheese & I realized how intensely she disliked Pete we fully supported her in setting boundaries and getting rid of Pete. Plus, shortly after these emails were written events transpired that made Pete' to everyone around him. (Not worthiness issues; he's off serving a mission now.) Big Cheese & I learned a lesson about our daughter though; she has great discernment when it comes to people's character. If she senses something is off she, and we, need to trust that. Plus I suspect if you could see Cheese's current batch of complaints they would center on her overprotective Mama's "unreasonable" restrictions on who is allowed in her pool of prospective dates next semester...*sigh*....

Dave Johnston said...

Love the Cheese family!

- Bro Jo

Anonymous said...

Sorry! Standing up for cheese would be hard, seeing as I only met the guy once and live across the country :( Notice "sweet" was just my first impression :) Didn't mean to cause debate!!