Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with occasional additional posts, too).

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Bro Jo is not a spokesman or authority for the LDS Church. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Keeping the Girl - Part 3: The Truth Comes Out

Dear Bro Jo,

I agree, fairness may not necessarily be the issue.

It’s just that I've actually only taken her out once.

I tried going out this week, but she ended up having to postpone it (but she wanted to reschedule for this week and she was very nice about it).

So, I'll be taking off for sales school a week from tomorrow and that will leave me with only having gone out with her twice.

I mean, if I'd been going out with her for like a month or something that would be understandable.

We've just both been swamped with finals and stuff we just haven't been able to connect as much as we would have liked.

Is there anything wrong with just telling her how I feel after next time or would that just be creepy?

- Chicago




Dear Chicago,

Whoa!

Bro, you told me you'd been out with her three times . . . one date is certainly WAY TOO EARLY to be professing one's love.

How can someone be "THE PLAN" when you just met them online and have only gone on ONE DATE???

I'm always telling girls to not make too much out of a first date, even if they're Serious Single Dating, that it scares guys off and will limit the amount of dates the get asked out on, and then I get zero-to-sixty guys like you writing me . . .

You need to R-E-L-A-X, bro.

Even if she does turn out to be Mrs. You, that's a ways away.

(Check out "Bro Jo's LEVELS of a RELATIONSHIP" on the Facebook page or in my "Guide to Relationships" book.)

This is Level 7 or 8 stuff, and you're not there yet, my friend.

Let me give you a benchmark: once Sister Jo and I realized we were in love, we found excuses to be together as much as possible. "Too Busy" was never a thought.

You had a great date; she was wonderful to talk to, and I'm sure she's very nice to look at, but I still think you're more concerned about you than you are about her, and that my friend, isn't love.

And it isn't enough to justify asking someone to not date anyone else while you're gone for several months.

Love is about putting someone else's needs in front of your own, and quite frankly that's something that I think way too many of the Young Single (and Single) Men in the Church just don't get.  And you're just not there.

Let her go.

And, if you're smart enough, lucky enough, grow up a little, and become less selfish . . . you'll have another shot.

If you do, with her or another one of Heavenly Father's choice Daughters I hope you don't blow it.


- Bro Jo

No comments: