How Strict Should We as Members Be When it Comes to the Movies We Watch?

Dear Bro Jo,

So here is my dilemma:  how strict should we as members be in the movies we watch?

I am currently dating someone who has very high media standards, basically only G rate moves (no swearing, violence or sexual reference).

I think this is very commendable however I find that I myself find joy in watching a wider range of movies let’s say PG, M etc., I too try to choose movies that aren't R rated or anything like that but I find that other movies have lots of valuable lessons and provide entertainment.

Am I a bad person for not sticking to higher media standards?

Or is it ok to watch a movie with a swear word in it, or a movie with some violence?

Where do you draw the line?

Thank you please keep my information anonymous

- Name Withheld

P.S thanks for your posts they are really helpful




Dear Anon,

Let me answer this way:

I don't see R-rated movies regardless of how highly they're praised or critically acclaimed they may be.

I consider that a personal choice for me, but also in line with prophetic recommendation.

As someone who spent a little time in the entertainment industry and has a degree in TV and Film, I believe that the things that earn a movie an R rating (be they violence, sex, or language) are gratuitous, and not things I want in my brain competing with the Spirit. Many in the Church, including some very high-profile members of the media, proclaim that certain images are okay for mature audiences and that some films should be an exception; I think that when we start to "make exceptions" to prophetic advice that we wander down a dangerous slope; blurring lines is never a good idea.

And I think that as a father I need to set an example for my children; if they're not supposed to see R-rated movies, then I shouldn't watch them either.

And I'll confess that I often find myself really wanting to see a movie, only to be depressed that it's earned that dreaded R-rating. So many movies I want to see . . . but I don't.

See, I know what makes those movies what they are, and I know that I have a vivid and active imagination, and I know that it's harder to hear and feel the Spirit when certain images and language is running around one's brain.

That said, I don't believe in putting too much stock in the Motion Pictures of America Association or many of their around-the-globe counterparts.

More than one time Sister Jo and I have rented a PG or PG-13 movie (some even recommended by "good Church members") that we felt clearly crossed the line. Ratings alone aren't enough.

(We actually like the site "Kids-In-Mind" as a better source for information when it comes to whether or not a film is "okay" to see.)

We must always rely on the Spirit and not be afraid to speak up, shut something off, or walk out (or away) when prompted to.

We've taken several movies back to our local video store (which, by the way, has always allowed us to trade the offending film for something else), but sadly I suspect we're more the exception than the rule. 

Remember, there's lots of entertainment to choose from out there; I've seen hundreds upon hundreds of Great Films that are also very appropriate family viewing.

Oh, I've seen a lot of duds, too, but the point is that you can follow the advice we've been given, see some films that are PG or M or PG-13, still have a zero tolerance policy for the R-rated movies, and have a pretty good time.

One person said it this way: apply the "Grandma Test". Would you be embarrassed if you were watching this scene or movie with your Grandma? If the answer is yes, turn it off and watch something else. Of course, that’s assuming your Grandma has the moral high standards I hope she has . . .

One more thought for you:  not all of my friends have married people that enjoy the same movies they do; I love that Sister Jo and I enjoy seeing movies together, and often (not always) have the same taste in entertainment.  I feel bad for my buddies whose wives won't go see the latest comic book or Tolkien movie with them; and I'm grateful that Sister Jo loves those kinds of movies!

And I'm grateful that she also likes watching period movies and TV shows with me.  Granted, she's often more interested in the costumes while I'm enjoying the history, but that's the point:  that we like being together and can find ways to enjoy things the other likes to do.  Marriage is cool like that.

If you let it be.

- Bro Jo