Head Over Heels at BYU-Idaho - Part 1: Is There Anything Wrong with Having a Crush?

Dear Bro Jo,

I need help!

I have a crush, and I can't get rid of it!

It's on a coworker here at BYU-I.

I believe that getting a crush kind of screws up your judgment and ends up distracting you from more important stuff, like school and work, so this is problematic.

Pretty much out of nowhere, after months of me working with him, the heavens opened up and proclaimed, "You kinda like this guy all of a sudden!"

And over the past few weeks this crush-feeling has grown no matter how much I try to ignore, stifle, and smother it.

So I've got a bit of a conundrum now: I want to get rid of these feelings, but I also kinda don't.

I eventually gave up on trying not to think about him.

I've even taken to getting in touch with my feminine side: putting on makeup, trading warmth for "wow" in my wardrobe, and not wearing ponytails anymore.

Though you'll probably say I shouldn't, I feel like some desperate poser for doing that. It seems that his dating life hasn't exactly been going swimmingly lately.

One girl he likes is moving out of town, another girl he likes flat-out rejected him, those sorts of things.

So obviously, he's available (if a bit disheartened), and just about any other girl in my situation would make a move.

But I've got a few barriers here:

1. I'm about 87% sure he isn't into me. He talks to me just like any of the other guys here.

2. I don't have a lot of experience, confidence, or (until recently) interest in dating or flirting and therefore don't know the methodology.

3. The way the office is set up, there are virtually no opportunities for one-on-one chat, which would be more appropriate for flirting and date-planning.

4. Finally, as you can see, I clearly have no idea what I really want, so this might be a bad idea anyway. So I was hoping you could shed a little light on this mess for me. Whether you think I should move on or move in, I need to get in the know-how.

Thank you so much!

Signed,

- Heels-over-Head




Dear Heels,

So I could actually answer your question in two different ways based, mostly, on where you're at in life; whether you're a Casual Group Dater or ready for Serious Single Dating.

When I read that you work at the Y of I, I initially assumed you're a college student.

If that's the case, I'd give you my lecture about how Marriage should not be put off for school and work . . . 

Then I figured you could be a high school student who happens to work at the school, and that would come with my "go on lots of Causal Group Dates" speech . . .

But either way, and this is the bottom line, you need to understand that there's nothing wrong with having a crush!

Nor is there anything wrong with a girl "getting in touch with her feminine side".

(Seriously, who is it out there that's been poisoning your brain?)

As I said before, whatever "move" you make has a lot to do with where you are in life, with what your end goal is.

But, either way, enjoy the journey!

- Bro Jo