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Monday, August 11, 2014

Money and Marriage

Dear Bro Jo,

Firstly, I love the blog. It's very informative and helpful :)

I want to say from the outset though that this question isn't imminent for me- my mission papers are about to be processed, so I'm still a little way off from reaching this stage.

After reading "Pre-Marriage Concerns: Money and Repentance" (7 Sept 2012)", I was curious. In your opinion, how financially secure should a person be before contemplating marriage?

I know the Brethren have long counseled us not to delay marriage in order to pursue financial goals or a career, but to me it just doesn't make sense if both husband and wife are still pursuing their education, whatever form that may take.

I know there are several people in my ward who were married really young (like 18-21) and are very much financially secure now but did struggle in the early days, especially since the education part took longer because the husbands went to uni part-time in order to work as well.

To me pursuing an education and being married are two separate paths (maybe more viable if you're coming to the end of the education period), but we have counsel to do otherwise.

What's your view?

Regards,

The Future Analyst




Dear Future,

You couldn't be more wrong.

Marriage and education are both part of our progression in life, and frankly each makes the other easier to handle.

They're linked.

And we've been counseled often not to put marriage off for school, either.

It's good for a young couple to struggle through the lean years together. It brings them closer as they work to build something.

I'll bet there are couples in your ward can testify to that, as do Sister Jo and I.

Consider:  I was married in my early 20's and we had our first six children by the time I was 30.  If we go by worldly standards we weren't even close to "financially secure" until I was at least 40 . . . if even then.  Look at all of those things I would have missed out on if we were just now starting our family!

Often the result of "putting things off until we're better prepared" results in "never doing them at all.

Now stop worrying about this kind of stuff and go focus on the mish.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Laura said...

The world around us often asks my husband and I why we got married if neither of us are finished with our degrees or have a steady income of money from careers. It's crazy to them. But we receive so much support from our church family because the decision was made between ourselves and our Heavenly Father, and we know it was the right choice. We know that when we do the things we need to do, the Lord will provide. It's in my husband's patriarchal blessing. That doesn't mean we sit back and relax and wait for the blessings - not at all! We work, we pinch pennies, we pay a full tithe, we sacrifice, we try to be of service to those around us, and the blessings certainly do come.

Personally, having spent time being a poor college student before getting married, and my husband having served a mission in a 3rd world country, we are both pretty familiar with not living extravagantly. And Bro Jo is right, it will be very rewarding building things up together. More rewarding than if we waited to get married until finances were secure.